No Mistake
by fananicfan
Summary: What happens when Harm reaches a low point in his life is "No Mistake". Be warned this story does contain the death of minor reoccurring character.
1. Chapter 1

This story takes place in Season 10. Mattie has had her accident (episode, JAG: San Diego), and Mac has gone to the hospital to see Harm (episode, Death at the Mosque) and has uttered the words "Let me know when you need me." This story becomes AU at that point, including a character death.

JAG and its characters are the property of CBS Television, Paramount Studios and Bellisarius Productions. All rights reserved. No monetary gain will be realized from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

**NO MISTAKE **

**by: fananicfan**

**WEDNESDAY**

**EARLY MORNING**

**MAC'S APARTMENT**

**GEORGETOWN**

Mac was lying in bed unable to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Harm's face and had a sinking feeling that he wasn't okay.

Mac hadn't talked to him in three days, not since she'd gone to the hospital in Blacksburg to check on him.

Harm had looked exhausted and worried, but other than the obvious signs of his hospital vigil at Mattie's side, he seemed to be okay. So, why did she have this nagging feeling that he was hurt?

Since she'd been trying for an hour and twelve minutes, Mac gave up on getting to sleep anytime soon and got out of bed.

Noting that the air felt a little chilly, she slipped a robe over her silky nightgown before walking into her living room.

Mac sat down on her couch and reached for the remote on the coffee table. With a push of the power button, the television came to life.

A repeat airing of last night's eleven o'clock local news broadcast was on the screen, and the line that she heard before the program broke away to commercial had her stomach in knots.

The anchorman had said, "When we come back, we'll have an update on the three car pile-up on I-81 near Blacksburg this evening."

Was this why she couldn't sleep? Had Harm been injured, or worse, killed in the evening car crash?

Mac sat impatiently on the couch, paralyzed with fear, staring at the TV while waiting until the two minutes and fifty-nine seconds of commercials had ended and the news returned to the screen.

"Channel 10 news has confirmed that this evening's three car pile-up on I-81 near Blacksburg has claimed a second life. As we reported at six o'clock, the driver of one of the vehicles in the three-car collision died at the scene. Two other people were taken to the hospital with serious injuries, and we've now learned that one of those people has died. The names of the dead have not been released pending the notification of their families."

The anchorman hadn't eased her mind with his report.

Mac rationalized that enough time had passed since the accident that she would've heard something by now if Harm had been involved.

She turned off the TV and swallowed down the lump in her throat.

In the now silent living room, she closed her eyes. Immediately, the image of Harm's face entered her mind, just they way it had been doing while she'd been trying to go to sleep.

Mac sat in peaceful concentration, much the way that she'd done to acquire his location when his plane had gone down in the Atlantic.

Mac got nothing but the image of Harm's face and, after thirty-two minutes, she gave up trying to get some sense of where Harm was or what was wrong with him that had caused him to dominant her thoughts tonight.

Mac wondered if the fact that they weren't as close these days as they'd been when she'd been able to put her finger on a spot on a map that had led to finding Harm in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean was the reason why she couldn't figure out why his image kept appearing in her mind every time she closed her eyes.

Even though her Christmas Eve accident had them back to speaking regularly and taking an occasional lunch together, they still weren't as close as they'd once been. They'd even gone to dinner together after work three of four times since then, too, so they were certainly on the road to their once close relationship, or at least they had been until Mattie's accident.

Mac had known that something was wrong when he'd called her when she was about to have dinner with the general in San Diego at the end of the JAG conference. She'd mentioned that he sounded strange, but he hadn't even given her a hint as to what was on his mind. It wasn't until she'd returned from her trip that she'd found out from Petty Officer Coates that Mattie had been involved in a plane crash and was in the hospital. She'd tried to call him the moment that she'd found out, but her calls had gone straight to voice mail. She'd left messages, but he hadn't returned her calls, so she'd gone to see him at the hospital three days ago, but he'd pushed her away.

What else could she do for him? Maybe that was what her sleepless night was all about. She needed to do something for him in order to keep from losing the ground that they'd gained in the last few months, but what should she do? What could she do that he'd accept and not push her away?

Perhaps the answer was simple, show up at the hospital with something decent for him to eat, no touching, no words of comfort, just 'here's something for you to eat that will keep up your strength while you wait this out' and then leave him with the meal.

Yes, something as easy as stopping and picking up some noodles at Ho's could do the trick, she thought. It would let him know that she cared about him, that she had sympathy for what he was going through and, if he needed someone, she wanted to be that person...like she'd been his go-to person in the past.

Before Paraguay, the first person they'd turned to had been each other when things in their lives had gone wrong.

She'd blamed Harm for the meltdown of their relationship in Paraguay, but now she felt that they shared the blame equally. He could've been more forthcoming with his feelings, but she could've been more sensitive to the fact that he was feeling something. He shouldn't have thought that she could read his mind, but she shouldn't have thought that he could read hers, either. Even if she couldn't ask him to hold her, she could've stepped into his arms. He would've wrapped them around her and held her. She'd known that he would, but she'd thought that he should have known that's what she'd needed and made the first move.

There was no point in rehashing it yet again. They'd each done things to hurt the other and, after her accident, they'd each apologized for their own shortcomings that had led to the loss of their close relationship, and it was now time to put the past behind them and focus on the future, whether that was as close friends or something more.

Maybe that's why Harm was on her mind. She'd been thinking a lot about how much she wanted a baby and that the only man she wanted to share parental responsibilities with was Harm.

Mac opened her eyes. She closed them again and, immediately, Harm's face appeared behind her closed lids. Maybe nothing that she'd thought of so far was the cause of seeing his face.

Mac opened her eyes again. "Maybe a cup of tea will help me get to sleep," Mac said to the empty room before snickering because she'd received the variety of herbal tea that she had on hand from Harm.

He'd given her the assortment as a birthday gift, stating that she looked like she hadn't been sleeping much and pointing out two of the blends that could help with that. She hadn't been sleeping, but at the time, she'd been upset that he hadn't given her something more personal, but now it brought a smile to her face. Even when they hadn't been on the best of terms, he still knew her and had given her a thoughtful and appropriate gift, given the state of their relationship at the time.

He really was a good man, she thought, bringing about a sigh.

Mac stood and started for the kitchen, but a knock on her door stopped her in her tracks.

It was 0147 in the morning. 'Who would be knocking on my door at this hour?' she wondered for only a fraction of a second before the lump in her throat returned and her stomach began to feel queasy.

Was it the police or General Cresswell delivering the news that Harm was hurt or dead?


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two **

**WEDNESDAY **

**EARLY MORNING**

**MAC'S APARTMENT**

**GEORGETOWN**

Mac moved to the door, took a deep breath and held it as she looked through the peephole.

Seeing who her visitor was, she let out the breath that she was holding and swung the door open wide to greet him.

In a moment of extreme relief that had her not thinking clearly, Mac threw her arms around his neck.

"You're alive," she said as she hugged him for a moment, but pulled back almost as quickly, regaining her composure. However, still feeling the need to have contact with him, she grabbed his arm and tugged on his sleeve until he reluctantly stepped inside.

He'd neither pushed her away nor had he put his arms around her when she'd hugged him, and he hadn't offered any witty banter along the lines of her jumping his bones when she saw him at her door.

He'd taken only a couple of steps into her apartment and now he was just standing there, still not having said a single word. It also struck her as odd that he'd been reluctant to come inside her apartment.

Once she'd closed the door, thinking that he must be worried that she might be 'entertaining' a man, she said, "There's no one here but me, so please sit down and tell me what has you out at this hour," Mac said, moving past him.

Harm's head was down, and he seemed to be staring at the carpet, causing Mac to stop and reach for his hand. "I'm sure you're exhausted, so come and sit down with me." Mac was pleading, but Harm's feet were firmly planted where they were.

Her hand wrapped around his, and he pulled it back.

"I shouldn't have come here," he said without being able to mask the sadness that he was feeling from reaching her ears, even if she couldn't see his face.

The sadness in his voice had Mac feeling like an idiot.

She'd been so caught up in the fact that she'd been seeing his face all evening that she hadn't gotten passed the fact that he was here and that nothing had happened to him. However, there was more than one way for him to be hurt. Emotional pain can hurt as much as physical pain.

"Harm, how is Mattie doing?" Mac asked hesitantly.

"She isn't in pain any more," he answered, unable to say anything else.

"Harm, are you trying to tell me that she's..." Mac had to swallow hard, and she still couldn't say the word dead. "...gone?"

Mac knew that Mattie's condition had been critical, but the fact that such a young girl, especially one who she knew had died, was a shock to her system.

Harm could only muster an affirmative nod to Mac's question.

"When?" Mac inquired.

"A couple of hours ago...I sat with her for a few minutes right afterward, and then I went out to my car... and the next thing I knew...I was outside your apartment building. I'm going to go. It was a mistake for me to come here."

"Harm, it was no mistake that you came here. I can't bring her back, but I can help you get through this...and the first thing you need is some sleep."

"I can't. I have too much to do. I'm not her father, but I'm not leaving her funeral arrangements up to a drunk."

"No, you aren't, but you also aren't leaving this apartment until you've had some sleep. You're exhausted and in no shape to drive back to Blacksburg right now, and even if you did, there won't be a funeral home open at this hour, so you have time to get some sleep. Now, take off your jacket."

Harm, too tired to argue, complied with her request and removed his jacket.

"I'll hang this up," Mac said, moving towards the coat rack.

After hanging his jacket on a hook, she turned to see that Harm had finally made his way farther into her apartment and was sitting on her couch.

"Are you hungry?" Mac asked.

"No, just tired," he replied before adding, "Maybe a nap would do me some good."

"Then come with me, and let's get you settled into bed," Mac said, waiting for him to stand up.

"Mac, I'll be fine here," Harm offered in weak protest. A bed with a real mattress would be nicer than the couch, but he'd been dozing off in a chair for the last week, so even her couch would be more comfortable than where he'd been sleeping.

"No, you won't. That couch isn't long enough for you to be comfortable...now get up, get into that bedroom and lie down...and that's an order, Commander."

"I don't want to run you out of your bed. This couch can't be a good place for you to sleep either. It might aggravate that back pain of yours."

It was so sweet that he was thinking of her well-being at a time like this, but he needed the rest that only a bed would provide. Besides, she hadn't had pain in her back since she'd had the procedure about a year ago.

Where had the year gone? This was no time to think about that, she thought, reeling her thoughts back in before she spoke.

"I haven't had any back pain in quite awhile, but if it'll make you feel better, we can share the bed."

"You could let me leave since I do have my own bed just a few minutes down the road from here."

"You aren't driving another minute tonight, Harm. You're so tired that you're a hazard on the road to both yourself and others, and you won't do that to me. You won't have me attending two funerals. Do you understand me? So you can either take the bed alone or we can share." Her voice cracked at the word funeral, but she recovered to deliver her final sentence with authority.

He might have put up a bigger fight, but he could tell that she was worried about him, and he was tired. Perhaps it would be better if he took a nap before getting back behind the wheel.

"Share," Harm said in almost a whisper as he stood.

Mac felt that he might bolt for the door if she turned her back on him, so she reached for his hand. "Then come with me," she said, tugging gently on his hand.

He didn't resist and moved with her until they reached her bedroom and she let go of his hand.

"I was going to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea when you knocked on my door, so I'm going to go make it now while you get ready for bed. Would you like some tea?"

"No, I'm fine," Harm said, annoyed that she was making such a fuss over him.

"If you need anything, I'll be in the kitchen making myself that tea. If you want to wash up, the clean towels and wash clothes are in the bathroom closet. Help yourself, and when you're ready for bed, just climb in and make yourself comfortable. I'll be in to join you shortly," Mac said, and soon she was out of the room.

Harm went into the bathroom and washed his face, and then, using his index finger as a make-believe toothbrush, he squeezed a dab of toothpaste out onto it before rubbing it over his teeth, more to freshen his breath than to clean his teeth since he hadn't planned on sleeping next to anyone tonight.

He stripped off his shirt and took off his shoes, socks and belt before lying down on top of the blanket on her bed and turning out the light.

He closed his eyes, but sleep didn't come to him. His mind was still focused on the events at the hospital several hours ago. He'd been at Mattie's side, talking to her when the alarms on her monitors had gone off, bringing a flood of medical staff into the room. He'd been ushered out of the room while attempts to revive Mattie had been made. The staff had spent forty-five minutes trying to resuscitate her before the doctor had come out into the hall and told him that they'd been unsuccessful.

Though his eyes were closed, he was still awake when Mac came into the room a few minutes later. He suspected that she hadn't made herself that tea. She was just giving him a few minutes alone with his thoughts.

Mac shrugged off her robe and got into bed. She pulled up the covers carefully so as not to disturb Harm, who she thought was asleep.

Mac looked towards Harm and whispered, "I promise that I'll get you through this Harm." Then she snuggled down in the bed.

Knowing that Harm was safe was the antidote to Mac's insomnia, and she drifted off to sleep within a couple of minutes of resting her head on her pillow.

For Harm, it took almost an hour, but, eventually, his exhaustion won out, and he too went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three **

**WEDNESDAY **

**MAC'S APARTMENT**

**GEORGETOWN**

Mac had risen, dressed and gone into work, leaving Harm asleep in her bed.

At the office, she spoke to General Cresswell, informed him of Mattie's death and requested the rest of the day off so that she could be of assistance to the fatigued Commander Rabb in any way that she could while he made funeral arrangements.

After emphasizing that, if he could be of any help, to please call him and requesting that she notify him as to the date of the funeral so that he could make arrangements to attend, General Cresswell granted her request for leave for the rest of the day.

It was 0826 when she reached her apartment.

Mac had figured that Harm would've awakened and left her apartment, but she'd come straight home anyway. She wanted to be in comfortable civilian attire before going to Harm's apartment to see if he'd gone there to shower and change before she ventured out to Blacksburg to find him.

When Mac entered her apartment, she was pleased to find that Harm was still asleep in her bed.

Mac, not really giving it much thought, just acting on her need to let him know that she was there for him, sat on the bed, reached over and placed her palm against his cheek.

With her hand cupping his cheek, her thumb, as if it had a mind of its own, began to move. As her thumb stroked his cheek, Mac stared at his face.

His unshaven face wasn't the only thing of which she took note. In fact, the first thing that she noticed was how his worrying about Mattie and his lack of restful sleep had him looking like he'd aged ten years since she'd left for San Diego.

She felt guilty for not pushing him to tell her what had happened on the phone when he'd called the evening of the dinner, which had concluded the JAG conference.

"I can't change what happened. I can't make it stop hurting, but I want you to know that, if I could, I would," Mac said aloud, not knowing that the contact of her hand against his face had stirred him, and he was hovering between sleep and wakefulness.

Harm hadn't opened his eyes, but he heard her and knew from the compassion in her voice that she was being sincere.

Mac was caught completely by surprise when Harm's hand came up and covered hers.

He turned his head and placed a kiss in her palm before his fingers grasped her hand. Then he lowered their hands until they rested on his chest.

"Harm," she said in a whisper.

When she got no response, she thought that Harm was just reacting to her touch in his sleep.

She took a moment to wonder who he'd be dreaming about before pulling her hand away in preparation to get up and change. However, pulling her hand from his grasp caused him to become fully awake.

Harm opened his eyes. He saw the green of Mac's Marine uniform and sat up abruptly.

"You knew that I had things to do today. I can't believe that you let me sleep all day," Harm spat out angrily.

Mac hadn't made it to a standing position yet, and she turned back to look at him.

"You haven't slept all day," Mac said, confused by his assumption.

"I must have. You're in uniform -"

Realizing that he'd mistakenly assumed that, because she was in uniform, she was coming in from a day at the office, Mac cut him off before he could finish his second sentence.

"- Yes, I've been to the office, but then I requested the rest of the day off to help you. So, here I am. In the time that it takes you to get dressed, I can be changed so that we can go."

Mac turned to stand, but Harm grabbed her arm. Though he wasn't holding onto her tightly and she could've stood, she remained seated on the bed.

"You didn't need to do that. There's nothing that you can do," Harm said to her after grabbing her arm.

Mac turned to face him once more. "I may not be able to do anything other than drive you to Blacksburg or ride along with you to keep you from falling asleep behind the wheel, but I intend to do it," Mac stated firmly.

As Harm released his grip on her arm, he said, "Then I'll take my clothes into the living room and dress while you change in here."

Mac grinned inwardly. She was feeling particularly good about getting her way.

Once Harm was standing, he said, "Our first stop will be at my place. I want to take a quick shower and put on clean clothes before we head out to Blacksburg."

"We should get you something to eat, too," Mac said, hoping that she wasn't pushing her luck in getting him to do things her way.

"I'm not really hungry, but maybe some coffee," Harm said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Feeling like there would be more such discussions about him needing to eat or sleep in the coming days, Mac decided not to argue about him eating breakfast _this_ morning.

Harm drove to his apartment without saying a word.

For Mac, it was a painful silence. She knew that he was hurting from losing Mattie and she wished that he'd talk to her instead of keeping it bottled up. However, she also knew that talking about his feelings wasn't his 'forte,' so she didn't feel like he was shutting her out. In fact, she felt that they were on better terms than she'd thought since he was letting her tag along and not going it alone - that was progress in her opinion.

HARM'S APARTMENT

BEFORE LEAVING FOR BLACKSBURG

Stopping to place his keys down next to his answering machine the way he'd done a thousand times before, the flashing light that indicated that he had new messages caught his attention.

"I need to call Mattie's friends and let them know..." Harm said, his voice trailing off.

Mac didn't know if he was talking to her and indicating that he'd be making phones calls before they left for Blacksburg or if he was simply adding an item to his mental check list of the things that needed to be done.

"While you shower and change, I could call Jennifer. I'm sure that she'd make the calls to Mattie's friends for you."

"It isn't her job!" Harm snapped at Mac.

"No, it isn't, but neither was having Mattie live with her!" Mac shot back. Harm's posture stiffened. Standing with a straight spine to his full height, Mac realized that her tone had been accusatory and harsh. Her voice softened as she continued, "...but because you entrusted Jennifer with Mattie's care at night or when you were away on investigations, I'm sure that Jennifer feels the same need to be doing something as you do."

"Feels? Coates knows about Mattie? I didn't call her," Harm admitted.

"I didn't know that you hadn't told her -"

"So you told her?" Harm questioned.

"Not exactly, but she suspected when I asked Cresswell for the day off, so I did confirm it for her."

Harm's shoulders relaxed back to the tired and defeated stance that he'd had all morning. "Let's wait until we have the date and time for her funeral first, and then we'll call Coates to have her help make calls."

"Okay," Mac agreed.

"I'm going to shower. I'll be ready in a few minutes," Harm said.

Mac didn't respond to his statement. She simply nodded her head and watched him as he moved slowly up the stairs to his bedroom.

Harm returned to his desk to retrieve his car keys fourteen minutes and thirteen seconds later, clean-shaven and in clean clothes.

In the car on the way to Blacksburg, Mac informed Harm that General Cresswell had sent his condolences and extended the offer that, if there was anything that he could do, Harm wasn't to hesitate to call him.

After Mac had delivered the message from Cresswell, the car fell silent and stayed that way until they arrived at the funeral home in Blacksburg.

Once Harm had parked the car and turned off the ignition, Mac asked, "Do you want me to come inside with you or wait here?"

"I don't know how long I'm going to be. You can't wait here," Harm replied while unbuckling his seat belt.

"I don't mind waiting here if you feel that you need to do this alone. I mean, I understand. When my father died... " Mac stopped talking. She couldn't believe that she'd just said the word 'died' out loud. Mac knew that she hadn't said the word in relation to Mattie, but she still didn't know how Harm would handle hearing the word.

"See, there's another good reason for you to come inside with me. You've done this before," Harm said, trying to ease her obvious discomfort with the subject matter.

After getting out of the car, he moved around to the passenger's side and opened the door for Mac.

With Mac at his side, Harm entered the funeral home to make arrangements for Mattie's funeral.

MAC'S APARTMENT

AFTER RETURNING FROM BLACKSBURG

Though the silence in the car on the way to Blacksburg had been unnerving to Mac, she welcomed the silence on the return trip. It gave her time to try to figure out a way to get Harm to spend the night with her again so that she could keep an eye on him.

Though she'd tried, she hadn't come up with a plan of action to get him to stay, and now that he was parking the car outside her building, she'd run out of time.

"You haven't had anything except coffee all day. You _are_ going to come up and let me fix you a sandwich, aren't you?" Mac asked suddenly.

"No, but I _am_ going to walk you to your door," he replied.

That didn't work, she thought as Harm made his way around the car.

Neither of them said a word until after Mac had unlocked her apartment and stepped inside. Realizing that Harm wasn't following her into her apartment, Mac spoke.

"Aren't you coming in?" she asked.

Her eyes were dark and sad, making it hard for him to refuse her invitation, but he had to leave. He was feeling lost and he wanted to cling to her to keep himself from drowning in his sorrow, but his need for her made it the wrong time to stay with her. They were getting closer, and he couldn't risk doing anything out of need that would ruin the progress they'd made in rebuilding their relationship.

"I appreciate the offer, but I wouldn't be great company," he began.

"We don't have to talk. We could watch a movie...have popcorn. I think I have some chocolate ice cream if you'd prefer."

"Ice cream for dinner, Mac?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's dairy...that means it has calcium for healthy bones," Mac said with a small smile.

"It's a tempting offer, Mac, but..."

"...But you don't want to spend the night with me," Mac said sadly.

Harm got choked up. He mostly certainly did want to spend the night with her, but not watching a movie and eating popcorn or ice cream. No, he wanted to spend the night holding onto her, but he knew that it wasn't what she'd meant.

"I just need some time alone to absorb what's happened," Harm offered in explanation.

"I can understand that, but promise, no matter what time it is, if you need me, you'll call or come over."

Harm nodded.

"No, promise me," Mac said, demanding a verbal response.

"I promise," Harm said softly.

Mac stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. This time, his arms came up and wrapped around her.

"I'm worried about you, so don't get upset with me when I call tomorrow to check on you, okay?" She said it so softly that it was almost a whisper.

"Okay," Harm said as he took in a deep breath, his nostrils taking in the scent of her shampoo.

He found that smell quite relaxing, apparently, since he'd inhaled it while his head had rested on the pillows on her bed last night and he'd had to be awakened this morning.

Afraid that further contact would have him changing his mind about staying, Harm released her.

After bidding her a good evening, Harm made his way to the elevator, trying to make a hasty retreat to his car before he changed his mind and rushed back into her arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four **

**THURSDAY**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

His phone was ringing - again, and somehow he just knew that it was Mac calling - again. This call would be number four today, and it was only 1300.

As he picked up the phone, he had to admit that, though her calls were starting to get slightly annoying, he was glad that she cared enough about him to be so diligent in checking on him.

A quick look at the caller ID before he pushed the talk button verified that he was right.

"Hi, Mac," Harm said into the receiver.

"Have I been calling you so much that you knew that it was me before I said anything?"

"It could be that...or caller ID," he replied.

"I told you that you need to sleep, but if you _are _sleeping, I suppose that I keep waking you with my calls. I just wanted to check on you, but I'm afraid that I'm being a nuisance."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Your heart's in the right place...and if it makes you feel any better, Coates has been busy making the calls on her list. I've fielded a few condolence calls today, too."

"So you haven't gotten any sleep?"

"No."

"When I talked to you earlier, you hadn't eaten, either. What do you say to me not calling you again, but coming by after work with some Chinese food for dinner?"

"Sounds good," Harm answered.

"Then I'll see you in a few hours with dinner...try to get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours."

Harm hung up the phone. He hadn't been able to sleep last night, and today, between making and taking calls, he hadn't taken the time to even lie down, but he was exhausted. Maybe he could get in a couple of hours of sleep before Mac got there with dinner.

The memories of meeting Mattie for the first time, the hearing for her custody when Mac appeared to vouch for him and the day that Mattie had shown up with her father to say that she wanted to go back and live with him flooded his mind and, though he tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable for an hour and a half, sleep still eluded him.

Finally, at the two hour mark of having lain down, he got up to get himself a glass of water.

He'd just taken a seat on the couch when the phone rang. He was certain that it wasn't Mac and was too tired to reach for the phone, so he let his answering machine get it.

"Harm, it's Rachel...Rachel Smithfield. I think that I may have made a scheduling error, so I'm calling to see if it was this or next weekend that Mattie was going to be visiting you and we were going to let the girls get together. Call me."

"Damn!" Harm said, sitting up. In the calls that he'd made and the list that he'd given to Jennifer, he'd focused on calling Mattie's friends in Blacksburg and her family of whom he was aware, but he hadn't called Mattie's closest friend from the school that she'd attended when she'd lived with him: Susan and her mother.

Harm reached for the phone and pushed number two on speed dial.

"Judge Advocate General's Office, PO Coates speaking. How may I help you, sir/ma'am?"

"Jennifer, it's Harm..."

Jennifer cut him off. "How are you, sir?"

"I'm doing okay. I just called because I wanted to know if you could remember the names of any of Mattie's friends from her school here. Some of them might want to know what happened to her." Harm was still having trouble with saying that Mattie was dead.

"I know that I have Susan's phone number at the apartment. I'm sure that I kept the list that I had from when she lived with me...you. I could just call the school, and they could make an announcement like they did at her school in Blacksburg about her death."

The word 'death' was so hard for him to hear, and he had to take a breath before he could speak.

"No, don't do that yet. I'll call Mrs. Smithfield when I get off the phone with you, give her the news and find out if she has the numbers of any of Mattie's other friends. If she doesn't, then you can call the school tomorrow, and we'll let the principal decide if an announcement should be made or not, but after losing her father and brother, I don't want Susan to find out about Mattie over the PA."

"That's a good idea, sir. Let me know if you need me to make that call to the school tomorrow, sir. In the meantime, is there anything that I can do for you, sir?"

Unlike Bud, Jennifer never seemed to have any trouble calling him Harm when he wasn't in uniform, so he wondered if her repeated use of the word sir was because someone of authority was within range of hearing her side of the conversation or if it was her defense mechanism against grief - pretending that she was making calls for the general, just an everyday assignment instead of something so close to home.

"No, Jennifer, but thank you."

"How about dinner, sir? You need to eat."

"Mac's already told me that she'd bring dinner tonight," Harm said. He added to protect Coates' feelings, "Maybe another night."

"Yes, sir."

After getting off the phone with PO Coates, Harm dialed Mrs. Smithfield's number, using the caller ID.

Rachel picked up after three rings. "Smithfield residence."

"Rachel, it's Harm."

"Oh, Harm, you must have received my message. When I was reviewing my calendar, I found that I'd written that our girls are getting together both this and next weekend. I thought that you'd called and told me next weekend, but I had an event to add to this weekend, saw the duplicate note and wanted to verify the date with you."

Harm didn't want to hear about her scheduling issue, but to interrupt her meant that he'd have to tell her about Mattie that much sooner. When she'd finished speaking, Harm inhaled deeply and started off slowly.

"I'm sorry to say that Mattie won't be coming to see me any more."

"Oh...did you and Mattie have a fight? Because you know that happens often with teenagers, and I'm sure that, when she's cooled off, she'll want to visit you again."

"Mattie and I didn't have a fight." Harm paused to take another breath, but the silence gave Rachel the opportunity to speak again.

"Mattie's father won't let her come? Why?"

"It's nothing like that either, Rachel. Look, there's no easy way for me to say this. I don't know if you've heard about the small aircraft collision out at the airfield in Blacksburg. Mattie told me during one of our phone conversations that she'd emailed Susan that she was taking flying lessons. Mattie was having a lesson in one of the planes that was involved in the collision. Her instructor was killed instantly, and Mattie sustained serious injuries."

Not liking where this conversation seemed to be headed, Rachel interrupted. "Is Mattie in a hospital near here or in Blacksburg?"

"She isn't in the hospital. She died from her injuries two nights ago." It was the first time that Harm had said 'died' when referring to Mattie, and it caused his stomach to churn and a lump to lodge in this throat.

"I'm so sorry, Harm. How are you doing?"

"I'm hanging in there," Harm said, giving his current pat answer.

"Still hasn't sunk in yet, has it?" Rachel Smithfield asked with an understanding that only another person who'd lost a child could have.

"No, not yet," Harm answered honestly.

"It'll feel like someone dropped a piano on you when it does and, for a while after that, you'll feel the pain of losing her. Then, slowly, it'll get a little easier each day to remember her without feeling pain."

"You've lost a husband and a son, so I have to think that you know what you're talking about, but right now..."

"Right now, your heart is broken. I had Susan to keep me going, and she and I could talk about her father and brother, and it helped us both heal. If you ever need to talk, you can call me. I'd be glad to listen."

"Thanks, but I'm okay," Harm said so half-heartedly that you didn't have to know him to know that he wasn't being truthful.

"It really helps to have someone to talk to, so, if you change your mind, I'm only a phone call away."

There was a knock on Harm's door.

"Look, someone's here, so I need to go," he said as he made his way to the door. "I appreciate your offer..." He looked out the peephole, and a small smile appeared on his face for a moment at seeing that it was Mac on the other side of the door. "...but I have someone to confide in if I need to talk."

He opened the door and motioned for Mac to come inside. Then he pointed to the handset against his ear before holding up his index finger to indicate that he'd be off the phone in a minute.

Mac nodded, moving inside his apartment to the kitchen with her briefcase and a to-go bag from Ho's Organic House of Noodles.

"So, you're seeing someone. Mattie would be happy about that. Susan told me that Mattie was afraid that you were stuck in neutral, that you weren't going after the woman who you were in love with, but you weren't trying to find anyone else either, and she was afraid that you were lonely without her around."

"Well, she didn't need to worry. I have good friends," Harm said, not wanting to elaborate on the subject of the woman with whom he was in love, especially since he'd just let her into his apartment.

"Well, you said that you had a guest at the door, so I'll let you go, but if you need someone who's lost a child and can relate to how you feel, call me."

"Thanks, Rachel, I'll do that," Harm said before politely ending the call and hanging up the phone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five **

**THURSDAY EVENING**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm was sitting at the table with his back to the bedroom, giving him a clear view of most of his apartment, yet he'd chosen to stare down at his plate of noodles, absent-mindedly lifting food to his mouth every few moments.

To be more comfortable, Mac had taken off her uniform jacket and tie, and slipped off her shoes before sitting across the table from Harm.

As she sat watching Harm pick at his dinner, her emotions shifted from being happy that he was finally eating something to being curious as to how close Harm and that Rachel woman were with whom he'd been on the phone when she'd arrived a few minutes ago. Then it switched to aggravation that, at a time like this, she was being jealous. Then, after silently scolding herself that it wasn't the time to be concerned about such things, the pattern would start over: happy, curious, aggravated...until she finally told herself that there was no crime in being curious and that she should just ask him about Rachel.

"Harm," Mac said and, surprisingly, Harm lifted his head to look at her.

Before Mac could ask a question, there was a knock at the door.

"You were saying...?" Harm asked, wanting her to finish her thought before anyone was allowed to intrude.

"I was just going to say ... I'll get that," Mac said, knowing that the question that she'd been going to ask wasn't something that could be answered before the person at the door knocked again.

Harm knew that it wasn't what Mac had been going to say, but with an unknown person waiting on the other side of the door, it wasn't the time to question her.

Mac reached the door and opened it fully, ready to greet the person who'd stopped by and grateful that, whoever it was had saved her from sticking her foot in her mouth by asking about Rachel, a woman who was none of her business. After all, she had no claim on Harm.

"Jennifer," Mac greeted the woman at the door.

"How's he doing?" PO Coates asked.

"You know that I can see and hear you, right? ... I'm okay," Harm said, a little annoyed that people kept asking how he was doing. How did they think he was doing? He felt like he'd been hit by ... no, he felt like a piano had fallen on him.

Mac turned so that her back was to Harm, who could still clearly see the front door. This allowed her to mouth to Jennifer, "He's a little cranky."

Jennifer nodded, and Harm had no idea that she was acknowledging Mac's words and not his.

Feeling that she'd given Jennifer fair warning, Mac spoke at her regular volume when she said, "Come in, Jennifer."

"Thank you, ma'am. I won't stay long," Coates replied, taking only a few steps into the apartment.

"Sir," Jennifer began, causing Harm to wonder about how _she_ was doing since neither of them was in uniform and she was in his home where she'd had no trouble calling him Harm in the past. "I came by to let you know that I've looked everywhere and I can't find the list of Mattie's friends and their phone numbers."

"It's okay, Jennifer. I talked to Mrs. Smithfield. Mattie hasn't been going to that school for months, and I'm sure that Susan will tell anyone who knew Mattie, and if they feel the need to attend the funeral..." Harm tapped himself on the forehead with his palm. "I didn't give Rachel any information about the funeral. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go call her back before it gets late."

"Yes, sir," Jennifer said as Harm stood up.

Harm took a step and stopped. "Jennifer, why don't you have a seat and eat? I'm not very hungry, and it seems as though Mac thought that she needed to feed the entire Navy, so there's plenty."

Jennifer looked at Mac, who gave her silent approval for her to share the dinner that she'd purchased.

"Thank you, sir," Jennifer replied.

"I'm going to call from the other room," Harm said before moving farther away from the table.

Jennifer had taken a seat at the table, and Mac had brought a plate from the kitchen for her while Harm had retreated to his bedroom.

Once Harm was in his room, and though she was hopeful that he'd be so caught up in his phone conversation that he wouldn't hear, Jennifer still whispered her question to Mac as she put some of the noodles from a to-go carton on her plate.

"Is he really okay or should we be worried about him, ma'am?" Jennifer asked with genuine concern.

"I think that he's still processing what's happened and how he feels, so I don't think that he's fine, but there's no need for you to worry. I'm keeping an eye on him," Mac answered.

"Yes, ma'am. Harm...and you helped me to get my life turned around. You'll let me know if I can do anything for him, won't you?" Jennifer's voice cracked with emotion as she spoke.

"Jennifer, I'll let you know if there's anything that you can do if you'll answer a question for me," Mac said.

"Yes, ma'am, anything," Jennifer said after sucking down her tears.

"You were kind of like Mattie's big sister. So, tell me...how are you doing?" Mac asked.

Jennifer sniffled again. "Ma'am, I was a little sad when I found out that she was going back to live with her father. Don't get me wrong. I was happy for her, but sad because I knew that I was going to miss her. It was hard at first, but we emailed each other, and then one weekend, Tom brought her to town to spend the weekend here, and she spent the night at my place. We stayed up late, watching movies and talking, and I thought that it was going to be okay..." Tears began to stream down Jennifer's cheeks. "...but she's never coming to visit again."

Now Jennifer was sobbing.

Mac was suffering from mixed feelings about the current situation. She was glad that Jennifer had opened up to her, but she was wishing that it had been Harm with whom she'd had the breakthrough.

Mac reached across the table and touched the younger woman's arm, causing her to make eye contact with her. "I know this is hard, but we'll all get through it."

"Yes, ma'am," Jennifer said, trying to regain control of her emotions.

Harm ended his call and started to return to Coates and Mac, but when he heard crying, he just couldn't rejoin them. He was feeling his own sadness, wanting to shed his own tears. He was in no position to offer someone else comfort if he could keep from it, and, thankfully, with Mac here, he knew that Coates was in good hands. So he turned around and moved towards his bed.

He was lying on the bed some minutes later when he heard his front door close. Knowing that Mac would've come up to at least whisper to him that she was leaving, Harm figured that Jennifer had left his apartment for her own.

Harm got up and left his bedroom. He came down the steps and, as he suspected, Mac was still in his apartment, putting away the leftover food and tidying up the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," he began as he stood near the dining table.

Mac had just begun to fill the sink, so her back was to him, but upon hearing his voice, she turned around and looked at him as he continued to speak.

"I shouldn't have left you to deal with Coates alone, but I just couldn't deal with her crying right now," Harm confessed.

"No need to apologize. I'm sorry that both of you are in such pain, but that's why I'm here...to lend an ear...supply the Kleenex..."

"Then you shouldn't have to do the dishes, too. Just leave the dishes in the sink. When I can't get to sleep tonight, I'll wash them, so just leave them. I know that I didn't eat much, but I appreciate you bringing dinner."

"No need to thank me. I'm just glad that you ate the little bit that you did eat," Mac said before reaching to shut off the water now that the sink was filled with soapy water.

"You brought your briefcase in with you. You must have work to do, so go home and get your work done. I don't want to be the cause of you being brought up on charges for dereliction of duty for not being prepared for court."

"No need to worry. I don't have court tomorrow. I just brought up my briefcase so that, if I wake up in the middle of the night like I usually do, I'd have something to work on here," Mac said.

"Mac, I'll be okay. Go home ... sleep in your own bed."

"No, Harm, I'm here to take care of things, like the dishes..." she said, waving her hand in the direction of the sink."...and I can't do that from my place. So you do what you need to do, and let me do everything else."

Harm really didn't want her to go, though he wouldn't have asked her to stay, but he did have one item to point out to her.

"Mac, you have to go home. You don't want to sleep in your uniform."

"No, I don't, but -"

"Don't wash anything yet. Let me go see what I can come up with for you to wear to sleep in so that you can change before you get something on your uniform," Harm said as if it were an order.

Mac was going to tell him that she'd hoped that he'd allow her to stay and that she'd brought shorts and a top to sleep in and a clean uniform for tomorrow in case he would, but she hadn't brought her bag up with her because she didn't want to assume that he'd want her there since he might still want time alone. However, since Harm had sounded so intent on finding something else for her to wear, Mac didn't mention having a bag down in her car and let him leave to accomplish his task of coming up with something for her to sleep in tonight.

Mac had waited for a couple of minutes, but just standing around wasn't accomplishing anything.

She was about to wash the first dish when Harm returned.

"I thought that you..." he said, causing Mac to turn to face him. He held up one of two items that he'd brought back into the room with him. "...could wear this tee shirt and, so you don't get cold while you're still up..." Harm held up the second, bulkier item. "...I brought my robe for you to put on."

Truth be known, Harm had grabbed his robe because he didn't know if he could stand having Mac walking around in just his tee shirt, showing her legs, and not want to take comfort in her arms. He needed for her to be covered up.

"I'll wash them..." Harm said, pointing to the sink of dishes. "...while you change."

"Are you ordering me to strip, Commander?" Mac asked with a mischievous smile.

"No...I ..." Harm was blushing, and Mac found his stammering cute, too.

His moment of being rattled passed, and now he spoke in an even voice. "I'm just trying to keep you from getting something on that uniform that will remind everyone of Bud when he feeds one of the twins before leaving for work or when he holds Jimmy after he's eaten breakfast. I don't want to be responsible for ruining your squared-away image."

"You do have a point, so I'll go change," Mac said, reaching for the clothing that he'd brought out for her to wear. "I should probably dry the dishes anyway. That way _you_ get the dishpan hands."

"Thanks," Harm said sarcastically as she headed towards his bedroom.

She hoped that teasing him had made him feel better, if only for a little while.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Six **

**THURSDAY EVENING**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

"Harm, it's your turn," Mac said as a friendly reminder.

Any other time, she'd be annoyed that he wasn't paying attention to the game, but not this evening. He was exhausted, and since she knew him so well, she knew that he was processing his feelings of sorrow over Matte's death and guilt that she wouldn't be gone if he'd put up a fight to retain his guardianship of her to keep her from returning to live with her father.

Playing a game wouldn't have been her first choice, either, but since the man still didn't own the mind-numbing box called a television, after they'd finished the dishes, they were left with three options: talking, something that, if they'd had a case to discuss would've been okay, but knowing that any other conversation would eventually bring them to Mattie, that was out...going to bed, which seemed much too early to do, at least for her, and he didn't seem to be interested in lying down yet...or playing a board or a card game.

So, here they sat at the dining table, playing a game that neither one of them was really interested in playing.

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking," Harm said, looking at the card on the top of the stack to see what she'd discarded.

"Thinking about how I'm kicking your butt?" Mac asked, trying to keep the mood light.

"Something like that," Harm said softly.

"Care to be more specific before I finish you off?" Mac asked teasingly.

"I was thinking that this must be a woman's game because Mattie used to beat me at it, too."

"You know what? You're a good lawyer, an ace pilot, a jock who's naturally good at sports..." Seeing one of his guitars out of the corner of her eye, she added, "...and a guitar player, too. So, is it really so hard to admit that we're better card players?" Mac rebutted to keep the bantering going.

She'd stroked his ego, not for the accomplishments themselves, but because she saw him as all of those things.

"When you put it like that...I guess I can let you have the win," Harm said with a slight grin and a twinkle in his eye that was there for a second and then gone again.

Mac sat up straight, shoulders back and put a hand on her hip. "Let me win. What do you mean, let me?" she asked challengingly.

Her faked outrage to keep Harm from sinking too far down into the dumps made his smile grow wider.

There was something about the way that he was looking at her that made her ask "What?" while still in the same hand-on-the-hip, mocked outrage pose that she'd had just a moment ago.

"I'm glad that you're here," he replied, and her posture immediately changed.

At his words, Mac's hand dropped from her hip, and she let her shoulders fall. "You are?" she said, not realizing that it sounded like a question.

"I am," Harm answered, causing a small smile to form on Mac's face.

"Why would you think that I wasn't being honest with you about that?" Harm asked.

"We haven't been particularly close in the last couple of years ..." Mac stated, letting her voice trail off before she said more.

If she hadn't closed her mouth, the sentence would've ended with something like...'and I don't know if you have a closer relationship with someone else or maybe a girlfriend who you'd prefer to be here with you.'

"True, but I thought that, since your accident at Christmas, we were working on that?" Harm said, intentionally making it sound like a question.

"We have been. It's just that this is a major event in your life, and that makes me wonder if I'm the one who should be here."

Harm didn't know exactly what she meant. Did she think that he should be around someone who was closer to Mattie, like Coates, because there was no person closer to him than Mac.

Too weighed down with grief to want to get into a conversation about what she meant, he was just going to let her know that she didn't have to stay.

"If you aren't comfortable being here, I won't hold it against you if you want to leave," Harm said softly.

Mac put the card that she was holding face down on the table and reached for his hand, momentarily suspending the game.

Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, she said, "I didn't mean for it to sound like I didn't want to be here. That isn't what I meant at all," she said, again self-editing her words so that she didn't take the conversation in the direction of asking if there was someone else whom he'd prefer to have here.

"Since I'm having trouble focusing, maybe I misunderstood," Harm offered. The last thing that he wanted to do tonight was to have a fight with Mac.

"You're having trouble paying attention because you have at least a dozen things on your mind and you're exhausted. When is the last time that you got any sleep?" Mac asked.

"It was the night before last when I crashed at your place."

"Then let's say that you won this hand and call it a night so that you can go to bed and try to get some sleep."

"Mac, it's still early," Harm stated.

"It's early for someone who got a full night's sleep last night, but for someone who hasn't slept in at least thirty-six hours, it's time for bed."

"If I go to bed now, I get to say that I won the game."

"Nice try, Flyboy. I said that you could say that you won the hand, but I whipped your butt in the game," Mac said with a proud grin.

"I was just seeing if you were paying attention," Harm said with just the hint of a mischievous grin before he stood up to head to the bedroom.

"Well, I was, now let's see if you can follow directions. Go get into your pajamas and get into bed." Mac then added with a chuckle, "I'll tuck you in in a few minutes."

"You're going to tuck me in? I'll be looking forward to that...and just so you know, I wore pajamas to bed only when Mattie lived here and I might have to get up in the middle of the night."

The last part about his pajamas, or rather lack thereof, he'd said with a definite hint of sexual innuendo and a raised eyebrow, causing Mac's heart to race.

She thought about the last time that she'd spent the night here. When he'd got up to turn up the heat for her, he'd been wearing only his boxers.

"I'll keep that in mind," Mac choked out as she thought about how good he'd looked that night.

Harm reached out and pulled her to him. As he embraced her, he said softly, "I'm really glad that you're here."

Mac was enjoying the feel of his arms around her, but she was also feeling guilty about it.

She was supposed to be here to support him, and yet, at the moment, he was comforting her and making her fear melt away that she'd made him wait too long and that this Rachel woman meant more to him than she did.

Mac pulled back slightly from his embrace. "I'm glad that I'm part of your life again so that I can be here."

She saw a longing in his eyes. Then her head moved towards his and his head moved towards hers until their lips met.

The kiss was more than a peck, but not passionate, yet there was a certain level of need in it - perhaps just the need to once again know that they were connected.

Their lips parted, and Harm released her. "Don't stay up too late."

Harm had taken a couple of steps away from her when the haze of the moment cleared and she asked, "Where can I find a pillow and blanket to make up the couch?"

Harm stopped walking away and turned to look at her. "You won't need to make up the couch. You let me share your bed, so I'll share mine with you. Just come to bed whenever you get tired."

The look that she'd seen in his eyes before they'd kissed was gone. The moment was over.

"I'm going to look over the Mills case and then I'll be turning in," Mac said.

Harm nodded in acknowledgement, and then resumed his walk to the bedroom.

Mac picked up the cards and put them back in Harm's desk before going to her briefcase and retrieving the Mills and one other case. She intended to give Harm ample time to not only get into bed, but to get to sleep before she got into bed with him.

She spent two hours and four minutes reading the two files and making some notes about each case. It wouldn't have taken her so long if she'd been able to keep on task, but Harm kept entering her thoughts, and not just about how he'd handle Mattie's funeral the day after tomorrow, but about their kiss.

Yawning for the second time, Mac decided that it was time to head to bed.

Harm was on his back, his eyes closed, but she didn't want to assume that he was asleep, so she softly spoke his name.

"Harm...Harm..."

Satisfied that he was asleep, Mac started to untie the robe, but remembering the last time that she'd spent the night here and Harm's words when he'd given her the robe to wear, she decided to leave on the robe in case she got cold without it and got onto bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part Seven **

**FRIDAY MORNING**

**HARM'S APARTMENT **

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm had slept almost six hours when he woke. He still wasn't feeling refreshed, but he was feeling more rested than he had in a couple of days.

Though awake, he didn't move from the bed. Instead, he found himself watching Mac sleep.

He watched her nose twitch like a feather had been waved under it and her hand brush the nonexistent object away from her face.

When he saw her shiver, he lifted the blanket covering him and folded it over so that it covered her.

Mac was asleep, but sensed the new found heat source that was warming her chilled bones.

He watched as she snuggled down to get the full warmth of the cover all the way up to her neck.

A little smile appeared on her face, bringing a slight smile of satisfaction to his face because he'd been able to improve her comfort in some small way.

He looked at her peaceful face again and, deciding that he'd lost his covers, he got out of bed and put on his pajamas to keep himself from getting cold if he were able to get back to sleep.

After putting on his pajamas, he got back onto the bed and, lying on his side watching her sleep, he drifted back to sleep as well.

Harm slept for another three hours, but what caused him to wake this time wasn't his restless thoughts. No, this time, he had only one thing on his mind, and that was Mac!

He'd gone to sleep staring at her as she slept in a prone position while he'd faced her, and he woke wondering if the fact that she was here, so close at hand in his hour of need, was because she was ready to be part of his life in the same way that he wanted to be part of hers or if her presence was merely a sign that the troubled relationship that they'd been having for the last couple of years was at last behind them.

She'd rolled to her side facing him at some point as she slept, and now he was blessed to be looking at her face.

She was beautiful he thought, and not for the first time, as his eyes assessed each of her features.

'She must be dreaming', he decided as he watched her brow furrow for just a moment before relaxing again. Her eyes, he determined now, were definitely the feature that had drawn him to her from the start. It was their shape that he could clearly focus on now while she was sleeping. That was what gave her the uniquely exotic look that had captured his interest the moment they'd met. Then the brown color of them speckled with gold had drawn him to her. Moving on, he made a note that he thought that she had a cute nose before moving onto the next feature, her lips. Facing each other the way they were now, he wouldn't have to move, just lean his head in a bit in order to kiss her, he thought as he stared at her naturally rosy-colored lips.

Having surveyed the individual features that he could see, he found himself staring at her face again, and now it was producing a growing desire to take comfort in her.

He was thinking more and more about reaching for her and holding her close.

Resigning himself to the fact that, with his mind on her, he wasn't going to get back to sleep, Harm got out of bed.

He was going to go take a cold shower, but after taking a look at the clock and seeing the time, he didn't want to risk waking her when she could sleep for another forty-five minutes, at least, depending on whether she was going to wear the same uniform from yesterday or planning to go to her place to get ready for work.

Wondering what he could do without waking Mac, he decided that there was nothing in his apartment to do that would help get his mind off of her.

He quietly grabbed his running clothes and went into the bathroom to change.

While changing into his running clothes, he decided to go for a long run in Rock Creek Park.

Now in correct attire for his run, he had only one thing left to do before leaving the apartment. Since he didn't know what Mac's plan was for getting ready for work this morning, he needed to leave her a note in case she woke while he was gone.

Having written the note and placed it where he thought that she'd be sure to see it, he grabbed his wallet and car keys and left the apartment.

Harm drove to Rock Creek Park and parked his car. Then he walked from his car to the start of the path and, after doing a few stretches, he began to jog as a means of warming up before his feet began to pound the ground at a pace that would probably make anyone he passed, if he encountered anyone, think that he was being chased.

Harm expected - maybe it was hoped - that Mac would be gone when he got back to his apartment. He expected her absence for the obvious reason that she had to go to work and she wasn't going to be able to hang around his apartment all day. So, maybe it was more that he hoped that she'd already left because his run had certainly curbed his urges, but he wasn't sure that he was ready to see her in his robe in his apartment.

However, looking for a parking space outside his building, he saw Mac's car.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to park and go up or drive around until he could be sure that she was gone.

She didn't know about his impure thoughts about her this morning, so the discomfort that he was feeling was coming solely from within him.

All she knew was that he'd kissed her last night, which she hadn't seemed to be upset about.

If she'd been upset about it, he reasoned, she wouldn't have spent the night with him...sleeping in his bed, no less.

He was making too much out of what had happened, he thought as he parked his car.

Just a moment before he swung his apartment door open, he had a fleeting thought that perhaps Mac had taken the entire day off to go with him to Blacksburg for the visitation this evening.

"Where have you been?" Mac said sharply as he entered his apartment, her tone accusatory.

Harm's hackles went up at her tone, and he was about to say that he didn't have to check with her before he went out. However, before he responded, Mac spoke again.

"Never mind. It doesn't matter. You're here now."

Her tone now was one of relief, and Harm knew that her previous tone had been because she'd been worried about him.

"I drove to Rock Creek Park and went for a long run," he said, offering his whereabouts calmly.

She nodded as if she were accepting his answer, though he wasn't sure that she believed him.

"I left you a note," Harm said abruptly, suddenly remembering doing so. He moved quickly to the kitchen to retrieve it. "I didn't think that you'd leave without having a cup of coffee, so I put the note by the coffee maker," Harm said. Reaching the counter where the coffee maker was, he picked up a small piece of paper.

Mac reached for it and, holding it in front of her, she read: 'I need a run to clear my head, so I'm headed to Rock Creek Park. If I'm not back before you have to leave, have a good day. Harm'

She lowered the note until her hand was at her side. "When I got up and you weren't here, I wanted to find you. I didn't think about making coffee." Her statement sounded more like a confession. "I looked for your car. It was gone. You were gone, and when I called your cell phone, it rang in the bedroom, so I knew that you didn't have it with you. I thought you'd left for Blacksburg without me."

"Mac, you don't have to go with me tonight."

Was he serious? Mac thought. She knew that she didn't have to go, but she was going, if for no other reason than to be there for him.

Mac started to move towards her briefcase and cover sitting on the coffee table. Feeling that his statement was complete nonsense and not worth a response, Mac spoke like he hadn't said anything.

"I wish I could stay longer, but I've got an evidentiary hearing to get to. However, once I'm finished in court, the general has already authorized me to secure for the day. Having picked up her things, she turned to make her way to the door. "So, even after going to my place to change, I should be here by 1300. That will give us plenty of time to get to Blacksburg. I'll call if I'm running late."

Mac reached the door, but hesitated before opening it because a question had just come to mind. "Are you planning to drive back to DC tonight or stay in Blacksburg and come back after the funeral tomorrow? I ask because, if we're staying there, I'll need to pack a bag while I'm at my place, too."

"I hadn't given staying overnight much thought, but I did plan to go bar hopping if Tom doesn't show up tonight."

"Tom doesn't know?" Mac asked.

"He knows." Harm paused. "Let me correct that. I told him. When I tracked him down he was drunk, so I don't know if he heard me, or rather, if what I was telling him really registered with him."

"Then we should both pack a bag. If we spend half the night tracking him down, we may want to check into a hotel to get some sleep instead of driving back here," Mac said as she reached for the doorknob, but changed her mind again. She had one more question for Harm before she left. "Are you going to be all right while I'm gone? I could call Harriet. I'm sure that she'd come over to keep you company for a while this morning."

"I'll be fine," Harm said, wondering how long Mac was going to be in this overprotective mode.

Mac, not convinced, reached for the doorknob, but not turning it, she said, "If you're sure..."

"I'm sure, Mac," Harm responded with a bit of impatience in his tone.

"I'll be in court for part of the morning, but call my cell phone and leave a message if you need anything or you need to go out again. Okay?"

"Okay," Harm said, trying to reassure her that he'd still be there when she got back.

Satisfied with his answer, Mac was finally about to leave when the phone rang.

"I'll see you later," he said, moving to pick up the handset on his desk.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Eight **

**FRIDAY EVENING**

PARKS FAMILY FUNERAL HOME

BLACKSBURG, VA

Harm couldn't believe that he was here to say goodbye to Mattie.

He couldn't believe that he was going to be attending the funeral of such a young girl who'd had her whole life ahead of her.

The young woman lying in a casket in a room, the entry of which was just feet away, had been a child, really - though his for only a short time.

In her short life, she'd had much put upon her shoulders. Her alcoholic and often absent father and the death of her mother would be enough to break the spirit of most, yet she'd managed to cope with that and take care of herself while running the family business in her father's absence.

His naval career had ended, he'd been fired from his last job and he'd had no relationship with Mac. Without her and with no job, he'd felt as if he were adrift in the ocean, only this time with no lifeline. It had been the darkest time in his life, and then he'd met Mattie. Maybe she wasn't a child, but an angel residing in the body of a child. For even with the hardships that had been thrust upon her, she'd still saved him.

Lost in his thoughts and caught up in his grief, Harm was oblivious to the not so quiet arrival of Mattie's aunt and her family.

"We're here to see Matilda Johnson," the middle-aged woman snapped at the funeral director.

"I was on my way to ask Mr. Rabb if he and the family would like a few minutes with her now or at the end of the visitation. Once he's made a decision, I'll let you know how long it will be until all visitors are welcome into the room," the man said calmly.

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. I'm here to see my niece. _I'm_ her family, not Mr. Rabb," she said harshly.

Mac, who'd been pacing the hallway, allowing Harm to have his space while being close by if she was needed, had seen the woman arrive and, upon hearing her last statement in a tone that seemed to be just plain rude and not a matter of her actions being tainted by grief, walked over to the woman.

"I beg to differ with you on that point," Mac said softly as she came to stand in front of the woman.

"What point would that be, Miss?" the woman asked with a snarl.

"That Mr. Rabb isn't Mattie's family, ma'am," Mac said politely. Maintaining the soft volume that the environment dictated, she continued, "She may not be his blood relative, but he's the one who took her in when her father left her to fend for herself. He's the one who was sitting at her bedside and holding her hand until she slipped away, and he's the one who's seeing that you and her friends have a chance to say goodbye to her and that she has a proper resting place. So, I'd say that him being there for her, when no one else was, makes him her family."

"I don't know who you are, but let me tell you something -" the woman began, but the funeral director cut her off.

"If you ladies will wait just a moment, I'll check with Mr. Rabb, but I'm sure that he'll have no objections to letting Miss Johnson's aunt have a few moments with her niece."

"No need, I'll go tell Harm that they're here," Mac volunteered. She needed to get away from this woman before she lost her temper.

Harm was pulled from his thoughts by the familiar touch of Mac's hand on his shoulder.

"Harm, Mattie's aunt is here, and she'd like to see Mattie now," Mac said in almost a whisper.

"I guess I should go introduce myself to her," Harm said distantly. He was having a hard time staying in the present.

"If you want to," Mac said half-heartedly.

"You don't think that I should?" Harm questioned.

"I didn't mean to imply that you shouldn't. It's just that I barely met the woman and I can see why Mattie didn't want to live with her."

"That seems a little harsh, Mac. I mean, she's here to see her deceased niece. I'm sure that she isn't feeling quite like herself right now."

Mac's gut told her that the woman just wasn't a nice person, but she didn't know her and she had met her under difficult circumstances, so she wouldn't pass judgment based on one conversation.

"You're probably right. I shouldn't be so judgmental. I just don't want her to upset you any more than you already are," Mac said.

Harm took Mac's hand in his. "Then I guess you'll have to come with me to keep an eye on things."

Mac walked Harm back to just outside the funeral director's office where she'd left the woman a few moments ago.

The woman and the funeral director had been joined by another man and a teenaged boy.

"This is Mr. Rabb," Mac said once they'd reached the small group.

"I want to see my niece, and this man..." she said, waving her hand towards the funeral director "...says that to see her before the visitation hours start, I need your permission," the woman said firmly without acknowledging him in any way.

"I have no objection to her seeing Mattie for a few minutes now," Harm said, looking at the funeral director and not at the woman.

The funeral director took over from there. "I'll show them the way and come back for you in a few minutes so that you can have a few private moments before any other guests arrive."

Harm nodded in acknowledgment of the man's statement.

With Harm's permission given, the woman followed behind the funeral director, and then the other man and boy fell into line behind her.

"I assume that's her husband and son," Mac stated absentmindedly.

"I presume so," Harm agreed.

"After they see Mattie, she might be a little less hostile, and I'll talk to them while you're in with Mattie," Mac said.

"Aren't you coming in with me?" Harm asked.

"I thought that you'd want to be alone and I'd go in later..." Mac paused, wanting to form the rest of her statement carefully. "...but if it's okay with you, I'd prefer to go in with you."

Mac was relieved that her pause had given her the chance to put a sentence together that didn't include 'if you need me to go in with you' in some form because Harm wasn't likely to admit to needing anyone.

However, she knew that he was feeling a sense of neediness because he hadn't let go of her hand since he'd taken it a few minutes ago.

Mattie's aunt and her family saw Mattie and, while Harm and Mac were in with Mattie, they left the funeral home without saying a word to anyone.

When Harm and Mac exited the room, the only person waiting outside the room was Jennifer.

In the next couple hours, a few more people came by, including Mattie's friend, Kevin, and his parents, and the school principal from Mattie's high school in Blacksburg. However, by the time the hours for the visitation had come to an end, the one obviously missing attendee had been Mattie's father.

HARM'S CAR

OUTSIDE PARKS FUNERAL HOME

BLACKSBURG, VA

"I can't believe that he didn't show," Harm said disgustedly. "Can you imagine being too drunk to show up to say goodbye to your daughter?"

"Though I've never had to confront this same situation, I've probably been that drunk, so I _can_ imagine..." Mac's voice trailed off.

"I didn't mean..." Harm began, but his voice trailed off when Mac's hand came to rest on his thigh.

Mac knew that the gesture of putting her hand on him in such a familiar way might have been too much, but she needed to be sure that she had his attention when she spoke. She didn't want him to beat himself up for what he'd said.

"I know that you weren't talking about me, and you didn't hurt my feelings. I don't know what he's thinking or feeling. I _can_ tell you, based on my own drunken experiences, that he might not know what day it is, and thus he doesn't realize that today is the day that he was supposed to be here, but you know that it doesn't mean that he didn't love her. He just isn't strong enough to deal with what's happened without the bottle as a crutch."

"Well, I'm not his keeper, and if he can't get himself there, then why in the hell should I track him down to see if he wants to attend his own daughter's funeral?" Harm asked. Mac thought that it was more rhetorical than a question posed to her, but she had an answer.

"You're right...but we're going to look for him, not so that he'll have closure, but...for Mattie. She'd want him to be there," Mac said, squeezing his thigh.

"We'll try the bar where I found him the night that she died and hope that he's there. If not, we may find out how many bars there are in Blacksburg," Harm said with resignation before putting the car in gear.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part Nine **

**FRIDAY NIGHT**

OUTSIDE THE JOHNSON HOME

BLACKSBURG, VA

Tom hadn't been at the same bar where Harm had found him the night that Mattie had died, and it took nearly three hours to find him and convince him to willingly leave the bar with them once they'd found him.

They'd taken Tom to his home where they'd just had an aggravating confrontation with Mattie's aunt. She hadn't said it outright, but she'd implied that it was Harm's fault that her brother had fallen off the wagon before she'd told him that they were staying at the house and that she'd see to it that Tom was at the funeral tomorrow.

"Do you want to stop to get something to eat before we get on the road or on the way back to DC?" Harm asked Mac once they were back in his car.

Though Harm had slept some last night, it hadn't been nearly enough to compensate for the days that he hadn't slept at all. On top of being sleep deprived, he was now in an agitated state, thanks to Mattie's aunt.

The day's events had Mac feeling drained, as well. Since they'd come prepared to stay the night, either at the Johnson home, watching Tom sleep off his latest indulgence into the bottle or at a hotel because they'd given up on finding Tom, Mac thought that it might be in their best interest to stay the night locally, even if it wasn't for either of those reasons.

"We'll be getting back kind of late, and the drive back will seem longer if we're tired. We did bring our clothes for tomorrow, so why don't we get something to eat and check into a hotel here in Blacksburg for the night?" Mac said, suggesting that they call it a night.

"I'm fine, and you can sleep on the way back. So, do you want to get something to eat before we get on the road?" Harm repeated in an irritated tone while starting the car.

"You left your cell phone number with Tom's sister. Wouldn't it be better if we were close by in case they call because they need something?" Mac asked, ignoring his tone and trying to persuade him to change his mind.

"You heard her, Mac. She's angry, and I'm her target, so you and I both know that the chance of her calling me is about the same as the chance of me getting hit by lightning."

Mac didn't want to upset him farther or damage his male pride, but another possible reason for his reluctance had entered her mind, and if it had anything to do with why he didn't want to stay in a hotel, she felt that, given the distance they had to travel, his fatigue and current mood to complicate things, she had to make one last attempt to persuade him to spend the night here.

"I was there when you told the funeral director that, if there was no insurance, you'd pay for the funeral. So, if it's the cost with your other expenses that you're concerned about...I'll pay for the room," Mac offered sweetly.

"It isn't that late, and if we hurry up and get on the road, we'll be back in DC before you know it. So, you see...there's just no reason for us to stay in a hotel. Now, for the last time, are you hungry?" Harm asked curtly.

After what Harm had said, dismissing all the reasons that Mac had given for them to stay the night in Blacksburg, they drove away from the Johnson home.

IN HARM'S CAR

NEARING HARM'S APARTMENT

They'd been riding in complete silence all the way back to DC, without even the radio on in the background.

Mac had felt that she should say something several times on the journey back, not to begin a conversation, but to offer words that would alleviate some of his pain. However, what could she say that might make him feel better? Nothing! So, she, too, remained silent during the entire trip.

As he pulled up in front of his building, Mac suspected that, if they had talked on the way back to his apartment, they would've fought because he was angry, though not at her.

He was just plain angry...angry that Mattie had died and angry that her father had been a no-show tonight and they'd spent the better part of their evening searching for him so that he'd have time to sober up some before attending his daughter's funeral. He was angry with the injustice of it all.

The silence remained as they exited the car and grabbed their bags before heading upstairs to his apartment.

HARM'S APARTMENT

NORTH OF UNION STATION

They entered his apartment, and Harm dropped his bag on the floor by the door and headed for the refrigerator. Since they hadn't stopped to eat, Mac thought that he was going to get out something for them to snack on before turning in for the night.

Mac moved from the front door and placed her bag down in a chair. When she looked in his direction again, she saw that he was turning the twist-off cap on a bottle of beer in his hand.

Mac watched in surprise as he took a big gulp from the bottle and then in shock at what he did after taking that first drink.

"This doesn't make me any better than him!" Harm yelled before throwing the bottle as hard as he could.

It hit the front door and shattered, spraying beer in all directions.

Mac didn't know if he remembered all along or suddenly realized that she was still there, but she knew that he was aware that she was there when he announced, "I'm going to bed."

Mac, feeling that he needed a few minutes to compose himself, let him storm off to bed without saying a word.

To give Harm the time and space that she thought that he needed and would want, and to avoid having to clean up the mess in the morning, Mac went to the kitchen to retrieve something to start soaking up the puddle of beer in front of the door.

Mac had placed down a few paper towels to start to absorb some of the beer and had just begun to pick up the shards of glass, placing them in her hand when Harm squatted down next to her.

"I broke it, so the least I can do is pick up the glass so that you don't cut yourself." Harm's tone was soft and caring.

"I'll help. It'll make clean up go more quickly," Mac said softly.

Silence fell between them as they worked together to clean up the beer and broken glass.

"I'm going to wash up so that I don't go to bed smelling like beer," Harm said casually as he left the kitchen after their task had been completed.

A few minutes later, Harm walked out of his bathroom, wearing pajama bottoms, but not the top, and saw that Mac was standing near the end of the bed, seemingly lost in thought.

"If you're waiting on the bathroom, it's all yours," Harm said.

Harm's voice caught her attention, and she picked up her nightgown and his robe off the end of the bed.

"Thanks," she said distractedly as she moved towards the bathroom.

He'd obviously interrupted her in a moment of thought or reflection, he thought to himself as he took up residence on the bed, choosing to remain on top of the covers so that he Mac could be warm underneath them.

Harm rested his head on his pillow and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come to him quickly tonight.

He'd uncharacteristically thrown a beer bottle, so he knew that he was keyed up like never before, and tomorrow was going to be difficult enough without being sleep deprived.

He needed to eliminate his fatigue if he was going to get through it without doing anything else that he might regret, like telling off Mattie's aunt.

Mac came back into the bedroom, wearing his robe over the nightgown into which she'd changed while in the bathroom.

Harm was lying with his eyes closed, but after watching him for several moments, there was something about the rise and fall of his chest that told her that his breathing was too rapid for him to be asleep.

Mac moved quietly to 'her' side of the bed, took off his robe and slipped into bed. Pulling the covers up over her, she settled her body back against the mattress with her head on the pillow.

Mac stared at the ceiling for a few moments before she spoke.

"Harm..." Mac said, waiting for a response to make sure that he was awake as she suspected.

"Yeah, I'm awake, Mac," Harm replied.

Mac rolled over on her side towards him. She placed her palm on his bare chest as she asked, "What do you need for me to do?"

Harm placed his hand over hers. "You're doing it. You're here..." Harm paused a moment before he added, "...even after I threw my temper tantrum."

"Did throwing that bottle make you feel any better?" Mac asked in barely more than a whisper.

"A little...not about losing Mattie, but it did seem to be a good release for the built up frustration that I had in regard to her father and aunt," he said with a chuckle.

"I'm glad it helped," Mac said with a light laugh herself.

Silence fell between them for a few long moments before she moved her head over to rest it on his shoulder.

"You aren't at all like him, you know? You don't need to have alcohol to cope with everyday life. There's nothing wrong with a man having a beer once in a while. It's just that some people can't stop at one."

Harm was comforted by her words, but with her head resting on his shoulder in such an intimate way, it discombobulated him, and he choked out a sincere, "Thanks," but didn't risk saying anything else.

Mac felt comfortable and made no move to leave her current spot. So, with silence returning to the room, she was soon sound asleep.

Harm liked having her close and made no effort to move until his arm fell asleep, forcing him to move his arm that she'd pinned between them.

When Harm began to move his arm to alleviate the prickly-needle feeling, his stirring registering in some part of her brain, Mac moved to allow him to lift his arm from between them.

To Harm's surprise, when he stretched his arm out towards her side of the bed, she moved right back into position, her head on his shoulder and a palm on his chest.

It seemed to be worth the risk, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Though he was on top of the covers and she was under the covers, thus providing a protective barrier of some kind between them, Harm took great comfort in their close proximity and began to relax.

Some moments later, Harm's breathing mimicked hers, and they were both fast asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Ten **

**SATURDAY MORNING**

**HARM'S APARTMENT **

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm woke, and his arms were empty. He opened one eye and found that Mac hadn't simply returned to her side of the bed, but that she'd left their bed.

He closed his eyes tightly again. _Their bed - __he needed to watch thinking like that. _They were sharing a bed, but not in a sense that made it _their_ bed. Although, Harm had to concede that falling asleep holding her had certainly blurred the lines of separation.

Then his first thought flowed seamlessly into his next. He hadn't ever thought of his bed as anything other than _his_ bed, regardless of the woman with whom he might have been sharing it, whether occasionally or on a regular basis. That was the difference in how he felt about Mac. Once she was in his bed, it was _their_ bed, _their_ life..._their_ anything and everything.

The uncomplicated truth was that he was in love with Mac, and he suspected that he always would be. He just had to move past it. However, the way that she'd been there for him these past few days, he knew it wouldn't be any time soon...if ever.

Harm opened his eyes. He needed to get up. He needed to know if he'd crossed a line with her last night that had her not only vacating his bed but his apartment, as well.

It took only standing up to reveal the answer. Through the glass partition that he'd designed to separate his bedroom from the rest of the loft, he saw her standing in his kitchen.

He took a moment to look at her. Unless his vision was going, she was in his robe, and it made him think of all the times that he'd had this very dream of waking up with her in his place in some article of his clothing. Pajama top, shirt, robe or even non-clothing items like one of his towels, it was all the same to him.

She must have felt his eyes on her because his concentration on her was broken when he heard her voice.

"Harm, you're awake."

"Yeah, just got up," he answered back.

The next thing he knew, she was on the steps. How'd she get there so quickly? He must not be _that _awake yet because she'd been able to move without him being aware of the elapsed time.

"Do you want to eat breakfast or shower first?" Mac asked, noticing that he didn't look as awake as she thought that he should, given that he'd finally gotten eight hours and ten minutes of sleep.

Of course, having fallen asleep and awakening in Harm's arms had Mac feeling particularly well-rested this morning.

"Uh, I think I'll shower first," Harm said, feeling disoriented.

"The coffee is on, but I'll see if I can find anything to make us for breakfast," Mac said casually, as if they had this or a similar conversation every morning.

The tone in which Mac spoke didn't go unnoticed by Harm, who walked into his bathroom, wondering if all this was a dream. Perhaps it was, and he was just imagining Mac being here, and when he got into the shower, the water would cause her to vanish, a thought that was a double-edged sword to Harm. If he were dreaming all of this, it meant that, in his dream world, he had Mac, but in the real world, he had Mattie. Why couldn't he have both?

When the shower spray began to beat against his body, Harm realized the harsh reality. Mattie was dead. He was leaving to attend her funeral soon, and Mac was here with him only in the context of being his friend. He didn't have her either.

**WHILE HARM IS IN THE SHOWER**

Mac had taken a hanger from Harm's closet before leaving his bedroom. She'd pulled the dress that she'd packed to wear to the funeral and, placed it on the hanger. After a quick inspection of how the garment had weathered being packed away, she went to the kitchen to work on breakfast.

She'd looked over the items on Harm's pantry shelf and was inspecting the contents of the refrigerator for something to make when there was a knock on Harm's door.

Mac thought that it might be Jennifer and wondered if she should answer the door in Harm's robe, which would more than likely give the young woman the wrong idea about what had transpired here last night.

A second knock that's a little firmer has Mac making her way to at least take a look out of the peephole before deciding whether or not to open the door.

If it's Jennifer, she can tell Harm, and he can go over to her place once he's out of the shower and simply tell her that he wasn't dressed. 'No, that won't work either,' she thought. Jennifer might ask where I was if she sees me leave with him later and she'll still think that something's going on that simply isn't happening.

Deciding that, whoever it is, she'll worry about explaining her attire if it matters, Mac opens the door fully.

"Hello, may I help you?" Mac says to the nice looking woman, probably in her early forties, who's balancing aluminum foil-covered items in both hands.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I must have the wrong apartment. Would you happen to know if that apartment..." She tilts her head, indicating Jennifer's apartment. "...is Commander Rabb's?"

"You have the right apartment, ma'am. Commander Rabb lives here."

"Oh, good, I was hoping that I hadn't written down the address wrong and had the wrong building."

"No, you have the right place," Mac said, staring at the woman rather impolitely and not caring if this woman thought that she'd spent the night in Harm's bed.

"I know that I'm here early this morning, but Harm told me that he usually gets up early to run. Is he already out or is he here?" the woman asked.

"He's in the shower," Mac replied. However, Mac, realizing once again that she had no claim on Harm, that even though she'd slept in Harm's bed, she hadn't been _with_ him and therefore this woman had every right to see him, added," He should be out any time now, so please come in."

"Thank you."

Before the woman had taken her first step inside, Harm called out as he crossed his bedroom already dressed for breakfast in some sweat pants and a 'Go Navy' tee-shirt, "Mac, I left my suit packed last night, so instead of wearing a wrinkled black one, I think I'll wear my dark gray one."

"You have a guest, Harm," Mac called back.

Harm was making his way down the steps to the door as Rachel took her first step inside.

"Rachel, what brings you by...and so early?" Harm asked.

"I had a few things that I had to do before Susan and I could head out to the funeral and I thought that you might not feel like cooking. I know I didn't, so I brought you something for breakfast..." she said, lifting the plate in one hand "...and a casserole that you can reheat for dinner."

With Harm now in the room, the woman was obviously more comfortable and continued to speak without a pause.

"Susan said that Mattie told her that you were a vegetarian. I think both dishes will be fine for you to eat. Breakfast is a homemade granola bar consisting of nuts, oats and diced dried fruit bound together with honey and baked. Dinner is a veggie casserole dish that I serve as a side dish at holiday dinners. I taped the recipes for each dish on the top so you could be sure that they fit into your diet, and if you like them, you can make them yourself at another time."

Mac listened to their exchange as she closed the door and moved to get her dress. This Rachel woman couldn't be too close to Harm. She didn't know where he lived and wasn't sure about his diet. Satisfied that this woman posed no threat to her, at least at the moment, Mac felt comfortable in leaving them alone.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to get dressed," Mac said as she moved to leave the room.

Harm didn't give any response to Mac's statement because he was too focused on taking the items from Rachel and getting them into the kitchen, making Mac think that maybe there was something more to Harm's relationship with this woman than she'd concluded in her first assessment.

Harm was focused on relieving Rachel's balancing act with the plates and taking the offered food to the kitchen, and since Mattie's death, he seemed to be able to concentrate on only one thing at a time, so his lack of acknowledgment of Mac's words or introducing her was simply his inability to focus, nothing more.

As he took the plate of granola bars, Rachel said, "If you aren't hungry now, wrap them. They travel well, and you can use them to snack on while you're driving to Blacksburg. If you have some wax paper, I'll show you how I wrap one end of them so that it gives you something to hold onto so your fingers don't get sticky, though that shouldn't be a problem in the cold weather that we're having today, but it's helpful if you take them as a healthy snack to the park or on a picnic," Rachel said, following Harm into the kitchen while he carried one dish and she carried the other.

Mac returned from taking her shower and dressing, and found Harm sitting at the counter, drinking his morning coffee and eating what looked like one of the granola bars that she'd heard Rachel mention before she'd walked too far away from them to hear any more of their conversation.

Mac was a little jealous that she hadn't been able to get Harm to eat and Rachel had, but where was this marvelous woman?

"I hope that your company didn't rush off because of me," Mac said, casually walking to the coffee maker to refill her coffee cup from earlier this morning.

"No, she said that she had a few things to do this morning before she headed out to Blacksburg. I'm sorry that I was out of it and didn't think to introduce you, but when she left, she said that she and Susan will be at the funeral. I can introduce you then."

With her cup of coffee poured, Mac turned to face the breakfast bar and look at Harm.

"She seems nice. Where did you meet her?" Mac asked, hoping that it sounded curious, if anything, and not catty.

"Her daughter, Susan, was a school friend of Mattie's when she lived here. Susan's brother was a Marine, and he was killed in Iraq last year. The press was hounding them both pretty badly, and Mattie asked me to help Susan and her mother. That's how I came to know Mrs. Smithfield."

Mac was feeling a little guilty over being jealous about Harm's relationship with the woman now that she knew that she was just returning the kindness that he'd shown her during her time of loss.

"I'm sure that Mr. Smithfield appreciated your help," Mac said, not realizing that her guilt would come to an abrupt end with his response.

"I wouldn't know. She's a widow. Her husband died of cancer a couple years prior to their son's death."

Mac's jealousy returned as quickly as it had disappeared. She needed to stop thinking about this Rachel woman. She was the one at whose place he'd shown up after Mattie had died. She was special to him. He hadn't kissed this woman, not even on the cheek when he'd seen her this morning. She needed to stop getting sidetracked and focus on getting Harm through the funeral today.

"Harm, we should leave soon to give us extra time in case of heavy traffic, road construction or some other kind of delay."

"I know, and not going won't change a thing, so I'd better get dressed. Do you think that I should see if the black suit is in good shape or wear the dark gray one hanging in my closet that I know is wrinkle-free?"

"Let me see the gray one, and I'll let you know," Mac said, relieved to have something to do that focused her on him and not on anyone else.


	11. Chapter 11

**Part Eleven **

**SATURDAY AFTERNOON**

FUNERAL HOME

BLACKSBURG, VIRGINIA

Mac was standing beside the man she loved and would always be in her heart and, though saddened by the reason why they were here, stood spine straight and proud to be the one whom he'd allowed to be at his side as those who were coming to pay their respects, say their goodbyes or to simply to mourn Mattie's death began to arrive.

Local students, some accompanied by their parents and some not, Mattie's teachers and friends of either Mattie's mother or father entered the receiving area where they were gathering before the memorial service in the chapel was to begin.

Petty Officer Coates arrived, and soon the room was starting to fill with not only those who knew Mattie well, but those who had only met Mattie, such as Harriet and Bud or, as in the case of General Cresswell and his wife, hadn't met Mattie at all, but were there to show their support to Harm during this difficult time in his life.

Harm greeted each person as they came into the room. Every once in a while, he'd reach over and take Mac's hand. Sometimes he'd take her hand in his, give it a gentle squeeze and then let it go. Other times, he'd grasp her hand and hold onto it for a few minutes before releasing it.

Mac didn't know most of the people in the room, but that didn't matter to her. She was there to pay her own respects to Mattie and to be there for Harm. Though she could empathize with those who were there to seek their own closure, they weren't her focus and, in that respect, were of no concern to her today. However, as the time for the memorial service to begin drew closer, there were a few people who Mac found conspicuously absent: Mattie's father and aunt, the only members of Mattie's family of whom Mac was aware.

The new arrivals slowed to a trickle, and Mac's attention was drawn to scanning the room, looking for members of Mattie's family who'd perhaps slipped in through another door in order to avoid Harm as Harm greeted someone who neither one of them knew with what had become his standard greeting for someone he didn't know. "I'm glad that you could be here with us today."

Mac was still scanning the room, looking for Tom or Mattie's aunt in the crowd when she felt Harm's hand wrap around hers.

Wanting to see if it was a sign that he needed something, even if it was merely a nod of her head in understanding that this was difficult for him, Mac turned to look at Harm. She'd apparently been able to tune out everything else too well, because she hadn't heard him greet them, but when she turned her head, Rachel Smithfield and a teenage girl were standing in front of them.

"Rachel, Susan, this is Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. Mac, this is Rachel and Susan Smithfield," Harm said, keeping his word about introducing her to Rachel that he'd given her after Rachel had left.

"I was in a hurry to get things done before I picked up Susan, so I'm afraid that I forgot my manners this morning. I'm sorry that I didn't introduce myself when I came to Harm's apartment," Rachel said politely.

"No need to apologize. I think we all had our minds on something else today," Mac replied.

"True," Rachel acknowledged to Mac before reaching out and patting Harm's arm. "Speaking of which, how are you doing with all of this?"

Suddenly feeling like she was eavesdropping on their conversation and knowing now that, even if Harm wasn't interested in a relationship with Rachel, she could relate to Harm's pain, having lost her son, Mac knew that Harm would be okay if she stepped away for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry. If you'll excuse me...with only twenty-one minutes until the service begins, I'm going to take this opportunity while Harm has someone who he knows to visit with to go to the ladies room and freshen up a bit," Mac says before stepping away from Harm.

Mac was gone in the blink of an eye.

"Is she right about how long it's going to be? She didn't look at her watch," Susan said in astonishment.

Harm didn't look at his watch either. Knowing that Mac was always in tune with the time, he responded to Susan by saying, "She's right, but don't ask me how she does it. It's kind of cool and weird at the same time, isn't it?"

"Freaky," Susan commented in awe of Mac's ability to tell time without a watch. With nothing more to say on that subject and having let Harm know that she was there, Susan needed to excuse herself. She hated being here because it meant that she'd lost someone else who she cared about and she needed to get away from the familiar scene for a few moments. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get some fresh air before the service starts."

Rachel knew that this was hard for her daughter and nodded in understanding of her need to step outside for a few moments. "I'll come to get you when the service is about to start," she said before Susan left the two adults to talk while she went outside.

Sensing Rachel's reluctance to let her daughter go alone, Harm said, "She's been to more of these things than most children her age, having lost both her father and brother, so I understand that you want to go with her."

"I'll catch up with her so that we can talk before the service, but only after you tell me how you're doing."

"I think you know how it is," Harm said, allowing his voice to trail off. He knew that she was one person who he wouldn't be able to convincingly lie to about losing a child.

"I know...sometimes you wonder if you'll ever feel like yourself again, if you'll ever feel anything else except the pain of your loss, and just when you start to wonder if you can go on, you find yourself laughing about something, and then you feel guilty for being able to enjoy life when you know that your child is gone and will never have that opportunity again," Rachel said - her every word ringing true with Harm.

Knowing that he was sad enough and that, though she'd only been expressing her understanding of how he was feeling, she wanted to lighten the mood a little or she knew that she wasn't going to stand a chance of getting through the memorial service without being in tears herself.

"Do you remember when Susan got the idea that you and I should date in hopes that we'd get married so that she and Mattie would be sisters?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I remember. I still don't know what Mattie said to Susan, but the next time I saw her, Susan told me that she understood. I would've asked one of the girls, but, to tell the truth, I was kind of afraid to find out because, knowing Mattie, it could've been just about anything."

"Mattie told Susan that you couldn't date me because you were in love with someone with whom you worked."

Harm stood there in disbelief that Mattie had passed on that information to someone, at the moment, taking little comfort that she'd done it discreetly by apparently not mentioning her name.

"The woman who was here a moment ago, Colonel MacKenzie, she's the one, isn't she?" Rachel asked.

Harm just looked at her in shock, which was all the proof that Rachel needed to know that she was right.

Rachel reached out and put her hand on Harm's arm in a comforting fashion. "Harm, I knew Mattie, and as badly as you feel right now, you know that Mattie wouldn't want you to give up living your life because hers ended."

"Regardless of what you might have thought this morning because she was at my apartment, she isn't interested in me...not like that anyway. We're friends, and that's all," Harm said sadly.

"Harm, the way she looks at you, trust me, as a woman, she's interested in you." Rachel patted his arm. "Now, I'm sure that she'll be back any minute and I don't want her to get the wrong impression about you and me, so I'm going to go find Susan now, but remember what I said, and when you've had some time to grieve, give some thought to telling her how you feel. If losing a child is supposed to teach you anything, I think it's that the people you love can be taken from you at any moment. So, when you have the opportunity to do 'once in a lifetime' things, do them, and when you find love, don't wait...don't hesitate...open your heart," Rachel said, patting his arm once more before turning to go outside to find her daughter.

**MEANWHILE OUTSIDE THE RECEIVING ROOM **

Mac had seen Mattie's aunt standing in a huddle with her husband, son and Tom in the hall when she exited the ladies room. Mac didn't want to cause a scene and make today any harder on Harm, so she decided to stay back and wait for the family to make their way to the receiving room. Then she'd fall in behind them and, that way, if they said anything unkind to Harm when they reached him, she'd be right there to intervene.

Mac stood off to the side, watching Tom shake from apparently delirium tremens, listening to his sister rant about how the arrangements were all wrong. She belittled everything, her complaints ranging from the time of the service to it being held in the wrong chapel, but Mac didn't say a word - until she put Harm personally in the line of fire.

"Look at him, Tom, greeting people like he's lost _his_ daughter. That's your place. It's too late to change anything else, but I'm going to get the funeral director and get him thrown out of here. He has no right to be here."

When Mac heard what she'd said, that did it! The woman had crossed the line, and Mac could no longer stand idly by and listen to her talk like that without saying anything.

Mac stepped forward and stood toe-to-toe with Mattie's aunt. "You have some nerve..." Mac began, her voice controlled and her volume low, but her tone was still the kind that commanded the woman's attention. "...saying _that man_ has no right to be here. I beg to differ. _That man_ was a dad and a good one to your niece for the better part of a year while your brother tried to get his act together. He took Mattie's best interest to heart and selflessly let her go back to live with Tom so that she could be with her father and they could be a family. Then, after her accident, when Tom fell off the wagon, _that man_ stepped in and stayed at Mattie's side so that she wouldn't be alone. Then, because no one else did it, he made arrangements for her to be laid to rest properly, and you think that he doesn't have a right to be here? Well, I'll tell you what, ma'am. In my book, that gives him more of a right to be here than _you_ have. Now, if Tom would like to stand next to _that man_, I'm sure that he wouldn't have a problem with that because Tom is Mattie's father. However, when it comes to you, you can stay only if you agree not to say another word about the arrangements or the man who made the arrangements for your niece, or I will personally throw you out. Have I made myself clear?"

The woman nodded affirmatively.

"Then, will you be staying for the service?" Mac asked in her normal tone of voice.

"Yes," the woman answered softly.

"I'm sure that you'll find the service to be lovely, and since it's going to be starting in six minutes, I suggest that you make your way inside. You may thank Commander Rabb for all that he's done for your niece after the service," Mac stated firmly.

"Of course," Mattie's aunt said politely.

Mac didn't know that she'd had an audience when she'd been defending Harm, but she had. Rachel and Susan Smithfield had been coming in from outside to be seated for the service when they'd heard the exchange. Not wanting to get in the middle of it, they'd stayed off to the side since they couldn't be certain that they could get around the small group without interrupting what was going on.

The four people who'd been standing with Mac began to move towards the chapel doors, and Rachel and Susan were able to slip by Mac and blend in with the others who were filing into the chapel when Harm came out of the receiving room and called to Mac.

"Mac, I've been looking for you. The service is about to start."


	12. Chapter 12

**Part Twelve **

**SATURDAY EVENING**

HARM'S APARTMENT

NORTH OF UNION STATION

Harm was glad to finally be standing at the door, saying good night to the last of his uninvited guests. He was thankful that he had friends, but he wished that they hadn't all descended on him bearing food just hours after Mattie's funeral.

At first, when those from his inner circle, Jennifer, Bud and Harriet, had begun to knock on his door, bearing casseroles, pies and God knows what else, Harm had thought that he was blessed with good friends. However, when the group had grown with the addition of General and Mrs. Cresswell, Sturgis, Lt. Mayfield and others from the office who hadn't felt that they knew the deceased well enough that it was appropriate to attend her funeral, but wanted to do something to show their understanding and support of Harm had begun to arrive, bringing more food than he could possibly eat in a month, Harm had started to think that perhaps having so many people who cared about him wasn't such a good thing after all.

Harm closed the door and sighed. He was glad to be alone at last. Well, almost alone, Mac was still there.

"You must be exhausted, Harm. Why don't you go ahead and go to bed? I'll clean up," Mac said before picking up an empty beer bottle and a glass off of Harm's coffee table.

"Mac, I can't ask you to do that," Harm said in reply as he stepped away from the door in her direction.

"You didn't ask. Besides, Harriet wouldn't leave until she'd cleaned up most of it, so there really isn't much left to do," Mac said with a smile before taking a step towards the kitchen with the empty containers.

Harm stepped in front of her and took the bottle and glass from her hands. "Mac, go home."

His tone made it sound like an order, and Mac couldn't help but feel taken aback and a little hurt by the fact that he wanted her to leave. Even though part of her had known that she couldn't keep staying with him, she wasn't expecting to have to leave so soon. She suddenly felt like crying because the moment was over - he didn't need her any more.

"Okay," Mac choked out.

Even though she'd replied with only one word, he could tell that he'd hurt her feelings and he felt badly about it.

"Mac," he began softly as he quickly put the empty containers back down on the coffee table. "I didn't mean that like it sounded." With his hands now free, Harm put his hands on Mac's upper arms. "It's just that I told Cresswell that I'd be back at work on Monday, so I'd like a little time alone to clear my head before then, and with it being Saturday night, I have only one day to do it in, so I should probably get started on the task as soon as possible, don't you think?"

Mac could only nod. She understood what he was saying, but it didn't make her feel any better.

"Mac, I really appreciate everything that you've done...from not slamming the door in my face when I showed up at your place in the middle of the night..." He removed his right hand from her arm and waved it in the air as he continued, "...to wanting to clean up my apartment tonight." He placed his hand back on her upper arm and then continued, "I know that you're reluctant to leave because you're worried about me, but I'll be fine, Mac."

Having recovered from the shock of him wanting her to leave, Mac spoke clearly, but her words were tainted with concern.

"Harm, are you sure that you should go back to work so soon? I'm sure that the general would give you more time."

"Working is better than sitting around here doing nothing," Harm commented sarcastically.

"I'll go without protest if you promise that, if you need anything, you'll call...or come by."

"Even if it's in the middle of the night?" Harm inquired, the lilt in his voice at the end suggesting that he hadn't lost his sense of humor completely.

"Yes...anytime," Mac replied with a smile.

Suddenly, his lips seemed to find their way to hers of their own volition, and Mac offered no resistance. To the contrary, she indulged in the warmth of his lips and willingly kissed him back.

The kiss was reminiscent of the one that they'd shared on the admiral's porch in its intensity, and when their lips parted, Mac saw the swirling emotions in Harm's eyes.

"Harm, can I give you a piece of advice?" Mac asked, pulling from his embrace.

Harm nodded affirmatively, unsure that he could or should speak because of what he might say.

"Whomever you were kissing just now, call her," Mac said sadly, knowing that, by telling him to call Rachel, she wouldn't be the one he called or came to anymore.

"She isn't interested in me," he all but whispered.

"Trust me, Harm. There's nothing about you that wouldn't catch a woman's interest if she were in her right mind. So, when you've had time to grieve and you're ready...call her, but remember, just because you're ready, she might not be. Everyone grieves and heals at their on pace, but give her time. She'll catch up, and when that moment comes, you'll both know it. Then seize the moment, because life doesn't give you many second chances. So when you get one, take it without hesitation."

"It would _never_ work," Harm said, hoping that she might hear the connection and know that he'd been kissing her.

"Things change, Harm...people change. Take some time to think about it. You may find that, what you once thought, no longer holds true."

"Do you have any regrets...anything that you'd like to have a second chance to do?" Harm asked.

"One or two," she answered woefully.

"Only one or two? I probably have half a dozen, at least," Harm said with a snort.

Mac, not really giving it much thought, just acting out of a need to offer him some comfort, moved her hand up to cup his cheek. "Then don't let any more moments in your life pass you by, Harm," she said softly as he leaned into her touch.

"You..." he whispered. "I was kissing you."

It was hers lips that came to his this time. They'd let too many moments between them pass them by, and this wasn't going to be another one that they added to the list.

Harm's lips molded to hers, and the kiss was becoming very heated when Harm pulled away.

"I don't want you to regret being here," Harm said breathlessly.

Mac's response to his concern was to say, "Live in the moment, Harm." Then her lips came to his once more.

This time, he snaked his arm around her and pulled her to him. As their lips melded together, he held her tighter.

With their bodies pressed together, and their kisses becoming hungrier and more passionate, their long held desire for each other ignited.

Needing more of a connection, their lips parted, allowing their tongues to begin a dance, first in her mouth and then in his.

His hand slipped under the hem of her shirt, and the contact of his hand with the skin of her back caused them both to let out a soft moan.

They were forced to stop kissing to regain their breath, and Mac took the opportunity to remove Harm's shirt, thankful that he'd changed into comfortable clothing when they'd returned from the funeral so that, once the garment had been removed, his bare chest was revealed.

She rubbed her hands over the toned muscles that she'd just exposed before she hazarded a glance up at Harm's face. Harm's eyes were fixed on her and her movements. She was momentarily fearful that she'd gotten the wrong impression of what he needed from her. However, before she could ask a question, she felt the air in the room across her abdomen and, a moment later, her top was off.

Mac reached for his belt, but he grabbed her hands and pulled her to him once more.

His hands roamed over the flesh of her back, and then his lips left hers and, with a quick tug, her skirt dropped to the floor. Apparently, his hands had been on a mission and, while they'd kissed, he'd unzipped her skirt, and now she was standing in only her high heeled shoes and her bra and panties.

Mac noticed the look of appreciation of her scantily clad body in his eyes just before her feet left the floor. He'd scooped her up into his arms.

She toed off her shoes as he carried her up to his bedroom where he placed her carefully down on his bed.

She was surprised when he didn't remove his pants, but rather opted to lie down on the bed beside her. Then his lips came to hers in a tender kiss while his hand found its way to her breast where it cupped it. Not receiving any resistance from Mac, he caressed it, anxious to do the same without the soft fabric of her bra between his palm and her flesh.

Mac had been expecting to have sex with him after they'd begun to kiss, but as she lay sated and still out of breath beside him in his bed, her thoughts of how he'd taken his time to kiss and caress her body as if he were worshiping it caused her to think to herself, 'If that's the way that man has sex, the women to whom he's made love have been truly lucky women, indeed.'

Harm was panting and sated from his encounter with Mac. Nothing in his life had prepared him for what being with her would be like. It was everything that he'd anticipated, wanted and imagined it to be in his dreams, and so much more, but there was one thing missing from this scene. He hadn't been able to tell her that he loved her!

He hadn't been able to say the words...not tonight, not just hours after he'd buried his daughter who was one of a handful of people whom he'd ever told that he loved. He couldn't bear to lose Mac right now, too, and that's why he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell her how he felt about her.

She snuggled into his side, and he wrapped his arm around her, embracing her firmly, hoping that the moment to tell her that he loved her would come soon because she had the right to know. He also needed for her to know that, even though tonight hadn't been planned, it had been no mistake.

**AN: This is where I orginally was going to stop this story, but Lee, my faithful beta reader, convinced me it wasn't a good place to stop, so I continued to write a few more chapters. With that said, yes, there are more parts, if you're interested in reading them, but you'll have to give Lee and me a few days to review and edit the next few parts. I'll post at least part 13 before the weekend. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Part Thirteen**

**SUNDAY MORNING**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm was finding it hard to sleep. He'd found himself drifting off, but then he'd had to open his eyes to make sure that she was really there.

Finding that they were tangled in the sheets together, he'd been unable to close his eyes again because he was worried. There was so much to worry about when it came to the woman who he was holding in his arms.

He knew that tonight had completely changed his relationship with Mac. They could never again consider themselves 'just friends'. It didn't matter whether it happened only this one time or twenty times, they'd crossed the line from friends to lovers.

How was Mac going to feel about this new level of their relationship? She'd told him to live in the moment, but what about when they had to work on a case or face each other in court? Would they be able to keep what had transpired tonight out of their professional lives? Had he crossed the line with Mac in a way that they couldn't handle?

There was also the fact that, though it had happened only once so far, Harm didn't want it to be the only time. He wanted to be with her again and again...the only one with whom he shared his bed from now on. However, since he hadn't bothered to tell her that before they'd made love, would she believe him or would she think that he was trying to make a relationship work out of some sense of honor because they'd slept together?

Mac sighed in her sleep and snuggled closer to him. He took in a sharp breath as her hand began to move from his bare chest down lower...and lower. He let out a sigh of relief when her hand came to stop over his belly button.

It wasn't that, if she wanted to start something again, he wasn't willing to oblige her and fulfill her need, but her need is where he found his next source of worry. Had he been able to satisfy her?

His mind jumped through all kinds of excuses that he could offer in his defense if he hadn't lived up to her expectations: He was exhausted and he was grieving were the first ones to come to mind.

There were also things that she'd said that was nagging at him. When he'd said that it wouldn't work out with the woman he wanted, she didn't seem to know that he'd been referring to her. Not even the use of the word 'never' in his sentence seemed to have helped her to make the connection that his statement was about her, or had she with her answer? "Things change... ...what you once thought no longer holds true." Was she saying that she no longer thought that we'd never work out?

Then there were the one or two regrets that she'd mentioned. Was he or what had happened between them going to be number three, or did he already hold a place in slot number one or two? What if all her regrets had to do with him? If he were in her top three, it didn't bode well for them to have a long-term relationship.

Finally, too exhausted to stay awake any longer, he drifted to sleep.

**LATER THAT MORNING**

Mac's internal clock woke her at 0600, but unlike mornings of the past couple of years, she was feeling well-rested, probably because it was the first time in that time that she'd slept without waking even once during the night, a fact that she had to contribute to the man on whom her palm and head were resting comfortably.

The thought of last night made her sigh audibly. It had been everything that she'd thought it would be and more.

She kept still, enjoying the closeness of their bodies, but soon found herself feeling worried. She was concerned that he hadn't shared in the satisfaction of their encounter.

Had he thought that the experience with her was at least enjoyable? Would he wake to think that he'd made a terrible mistake? Her body shivered, not from cold but fear. When he woke, would he be angry with her because he thought that she'd taken advantage of him at a time when he was vulnerable?

She felt tears stinging the back of her eyes. She was _not _going to cry. Last night was wonderful...no, amazing, and even if they never slept together again, she was _not_ going to regret last night. She was also not going to pretend that they were in a relationship. No, she was going to get up, make him breakfast and leave his apartment with her head held high. She loved him whether he loved her and, from her point of view, they'd made love, and she wasn't going to look at it in any other way.

Mac pulled back from his side and looked down at him. He was so handsome, even with the dark circles from his lack of sleep and the tiny lines at the corners of his eyes that was a sign of the stress that he'd been under.

A smile appeared on her face. It was nice to wake up next to him, and oh how easily she could see herself doing just that for the next ... a hundred years wouldn't be too long.

Harm stared to stir, and she leaned over and bestowed three feather-light kisses in quick succession on his bare chest.

In response to her show of affection, he pulled her onto his chest and kissed her.

Though he seemed to be out of it, he also seemed to be very much in control of what he was doing as his tongue glided over her lower lip, waiting for permission to enter her mouth. When her lips granted him entry, his tongue tangled with hers.

With him making obvious advances that would result in a repeat of last night, Mac needed to quickly make the decision of whether to be a willing participant or to push him away.

Her decision would be simple if he'd let her know that he wasn't in such a state that he was unaware of who was in bed with him and that he knew that she was the one who he was kissing.

The need to breathe forcing his lips to leave hers, he whispered breathlessly, "Mac..."

Harm so desperately wanted to 'let go' ... tell her that he loved her more than he'd thought that it was possible for a man to love a woman, but thinking that, if he uttered that he loved her while in bed this way, she wouldn't see it as a declaration of his feelings, but only as a means to secure a way to satisfy his lust, his voice left him after he uttered her name.

He chastised himself for allowing them to go to bed before he'd told her how he felt. He should have done things in the right order with this woman. He should have proclaimed his love for her, proposed marriage and then he could've indulged in getting to know her body.

Hearing her name, Mac was sure that Harm knew that she was the woman in his bed and tilted her head back, allowing his current trail of kisses along her jaw line and back to her ear to go unimpeded.

He'd had his turn to be on top last night, and with him still half asleep, he was willing or at least compliant to letting her be on top.

Their time together couldn't last as long as Mac wanted since she didn't want it to ever end, but it was another wonderful encounter for her, and she knew from the throaty moan that he'd released moments before her own that he'd at least been satisfied.

Mac lay prone on top of him where she'd collapsed after climaxing. His hand was rubbing up and down her back.

They'd been lying there in silence for several minutes when Harm spoke in a whisper, "Mac, we need to talk."

Mac didn't want him to crush her fantasy that they'd spent a wonderful night and morning together making love and were now enjoying the afterglow.

She kept her head resting on his chest. She wasn't going to look at him. His eyes might tell her something that wouldn't allow her fantasy to remain intact.

"No talking, Harm," she said firmly, not offering any explanation.

Harm had to admit to himself that lying here with her after another round of lovemaking was probably not the time to talk, so he didn't say another word. He just held her and soon drifted off to sleep again.

First moving off of him and to his side, and then slowly moving farther from him every few moments, Mac gradually got out of bed.

She went into the kitchen to make coffee and then got an idea of what to make Harm for breakfast.

After a check of his pantry items, she found that he had everything that she needed to make the cinnamon coffee cake recipe that she liked and, along with the fruit plate that someone had brought yesterday and some coffee, she could put together a delightful breakfast.

Since the cake took almost an hour to bake, Mac mixed the batter and put it in the oven before starting a pot of coffee and going about her normal routine of showering and dressing.

**FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER**

Harm's nostrils were being filled with the pleasing aromas of cinnamon and coffee, and the combination of the two had him wanting to know where he was - had he fallen asleep in a bakery or a corner cafe?

He opened his eyes to a familiar looking ceiling and, as he turned his head, other familiar items like his alarm clock came into view, letting him know that he hadn't fallen asleep in some strange place. He was in his bed in his own apartment.

The light coming from the other side of the glass indicated that he hadn't been dreaming, at least not completely. There was someone else in his apartment.

He pulled back the covers and, when he did, the cooler air in the room left him no doubt that he wasn't wearing anything, making him pretty sure that it meant that being with a woman hadn't been a dream either.

He slipped on his abandoned pants from last night and headed downstairs to the kitchen to see if that woman really had been Mac.

Harm had to smile as he got to the last step and saw that the woman in his apartment was indeed Mac. However, his smile didn't stay with him when he saw that she was folding her clothes and tucking them into the bag that she'd brought.

"You're leaving?" Harm asked, hoping that she was just staying organized.

Mac turned to make eye contact with Harm. "Not yet, but I don't have a clean uniform for tomorrow, so I'm going to have to go home sometime today," she said before she turned around and shoved some folded articles of clothing into the bag and continued, "I've got a coffee cake in the oven. It won't be ready for another ten minutes, give or take, depending on your oven, so you have time to shower..." She paused for a moment before adding, "...or if you want to get back into your routine and go for a run, that's fine, too. It'll still be here."

Harm didn't want her to go, but he didn't want to ask her to stay. He didn't want her to think that he was needy and that he didn't want to be alone.

"I guess it depends on when you're leaving," Harm replied.

"Why does that matter?" Mac asked.

"I want to spend time with you before you go, so, if you're staying only for breakfast, then I'll sit down and have coffee and breakfast with you, but if you're going to be here for a while, then I'll take a shower and get dressed before breakfast, and then we can eat and hang out so that we can talk about what happened last night."

Mac turned around to face him again. "...And this morning," she added with a grin, causing Harm's cheeks to become slightly blushed. "Harm, there really isn't anything to talk about. It happened and it was ..." She couldn't find the right word, so she paused to search for a word that expressed how she'd felt at the height of the moment.

"Wonderful?" Harm said, hoping that she wouldn't say no and then something like awful or the worst experience of my life.

"Wonderful, yes, but I believe that amazing was the word that I was looking for," she replied with a smile.

"Amazing, I agree that that's a better word for it," Harm said softly, wanting to take her in his arms and tell her that he wanted her to stay.

There was something about his demeanor that Mac couldn't read, which surprised her. She might not always like what he was thinking, but she could usually tell what was on his mind.

Mac realized that she was having difficulty figuring it out because this vibe coming from him was something rare. The answer came to her a moment before he spoke. He was feeling uneasy.

"But, Mac...I think that we do have something to talk about. Tomorrow, we'll see each other at work, and that won't be easy unless we clear the air today," he said solemnly.

"There's no air that needs to be cleared, Harm. We slept together. We had sex. I'm not foolish enough to believe that it meant any more than what it was, however you want to say it, and I don't want to analyze why it happened or talk about what it means. I want to walk away with a wonderful memory, and tomorrow at work, we'll go back to being Harm and Mac, best friends."

"So it all ends when you walk out the door today?" Harm asked sheepishly.

"You can't end what never was, Harm, but if you're asking me if I ever want us to be together again. I'd have to say that, if the moment ever presents itself again and neither one of us is in a relationship, I certainly wouldn't mind it happening again, but I'm not counting on it. I'm not going to try to force it or deliberately put us in a position that makes either one of us feel pressured to do it again or to be anything more to each other than we are, so stop trying to make a big deal out of what happened."

Harm didn't know what to say. He didn't want her to leave. He wanted there to be something more to it, but he didn't want to try to talk her into staying or to force her into a relationship that she didn't want.

"If you're sure that we're okay, then I guess I'll go shower and get dressed before we have breakfast."

"Okay. I'll be finished packing in a minute, and then I'll check on breakfast and have it on the table when you're ready," she said with a smile.

Harm nodded his understanding of her plan because he couldn't think of a single thing to say that wouldn't make it sound as if he were trying to force her into a relationship or to burden her with his feelings when they apparently weren't reciprocated.

Mac made sure that Harm was out of the room before she let her tears fall. She was aware of what she'd said, but she was also aware that her heart wanted to be the woman with whom he shared his bed from now on, and she was going to find it hard to do as she'd said that she'd do and shut off her feelings when she saw him again, regardless if that were at work or on the street, and she was really dreading trying to keep it together when she saw him with Rachel, but she'd do it. She had to do it or lose him as her best friend, and she remembered how it had felt when he'd quit speaking to her after Paraguay. Burying her feelings for him had to be easier than living without him.

In the shower, Harm stood with the water raining down on him, wondering how he was going to box up his feelings for Mac at work tomorrow.

He finished his shower and dressed, not having a plan as to how to conceal his feelings for her, but knowing that he'd have to find a way or he'd be risking his friendship with her. He'd had to live without her in his life after Paraguay and he'd do whatever it took to keep their relationship from suffering again because he'd had a moment of weakness and let his emotions cross the line of friendship. Finally, determined that, if she could forgive him and remain his friend, then he'd find a way to bury his feelings for her to keep from losing her again. Having made that decision, he left his bedroom and sat down at the table to have breakfast with her.

He had no idea how he made it through the meal and her departure without telling her that he wanted her to stay because, though the timing might have been wrong, last night had been no mistake since he loved her with all his heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Part Fourteen **

**THE FOLLOWING FRIDAY**

MAC'S OFFICE

JAG HEADQUARTERS

FALLS CHURCH, VA

Since the door was open, Harm rapped on the door frame of Mac's office.

Mac looked up, and a warm smile greeted him.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey, yourself," he replied, stepping into her office.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been able to stop by to check on you, but I see that you've made it through your first week back."

"Yeah, I made it, which is why I stopped by. I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me to celebrate."

"What are we celebrating?" Mac asked.

"Celebrating getting through my first week." Harm raises his hand so that his palm is facing her, signaling that she shouldn't say what she's thinking. "I know ... it's a small victory, but you should take joy in the little things until you get back on your feet."

"Where did you get those words of wisdom?" Mac asked.

"It could've been some pearl of wisdom that someone told me at the funeral, could've been something that I read on one of the sympathy cards I got...I don't remember," Harm said while shrugging his shoulders. "So, if you haven't been trying to avoid me and we're really okay, how about that dinner?" Harm said, switching gears to get away from thoughts of Mattie's death and her funeral.

"I haven't been avoiding you, though I can certainly understand why you might get that impression. However, the truth is that I've been in court all week. Sturgis has been at the top of his game and has been keeping me on my toes, so, if I haven't been in court, I've been coming up with ways to counteract expert witness testimony or find a way to rebut circumstantial evidence. In fact, I'm only in my office now because the judge called a recess to …." She left the cause go unspoken. "I'll tell you what, since I'm due back in court in nine minutes, why don't I give you all the sordid details over dinner?" she says with a warm smile.

"Sounds good...but if you're going to be in court the rest of the day, would tonight be good or is there a better time for you, tomorrow for instance?" Harm asked, hoping that her response wouldn't be something along the lines of 'when hell freezes over'.

"If Sturgis deals me any more surprises this afternoon, I'll need a break before I spend a weekend cracking the books to blow him out of the water on Monday, so tonight would be great, if you don't mind eating late. I probably won't be able to change and meet you anywhere until at least 1930."

"What do you say to me making reservations at Fresco's for 1930, and I'll pick you up at your place at 1900?'"

"If you're going to come by for me, make our reservation for 1900 and pick me up at 1830."

"Then I'll see you at 1830...and good luck in court this afternoon."

"Thanks. I'll see you tonight."

Harm turned and left her office. He had a date for dinner...with Mac. What a difference a week could make in your life, he thought, smiling for the first time in more than a week on the way back to his office.

**THAT EVENING**

Not wanting to be too early or late, Harm timed how long it took him to get up to Mac's floor by way of both the stairs and the elevator. After being sure that he had the timing down, he went to his car and waited until it was 1826.

He was out of his car and at the elevator at 1827, and thanks to his precise timing, he knocked on Mac's door at 1830 on the dot.

Mac opened the door. "Hey, Harm, right on time. I'm ready...just let me grab my purse and we can leave for the restaurant."

Harm was admiring the form fitting top of her dress and the flirty skirt as she turned to retrieve her purse.

"The wind has picked up out there, so you may need a sweater or a jacket, too."

"Then come in because I'll need a minute to I see if I have something that goes with this dress. If not, I might have to change," Mac said, heading off in the direction of her bedroom.

Mac returned with something in her hand. "Is it cold or just windy?" she asked Harm, who'd stepped in enough to close the door, but hadn't ventured any farther into the apartment.

"Just windy right now," Harm replied, glad that she hadn't put on some heavy jacket that covered up her nice dress.

"Then this wrap should be enough protection against the wind for the short distance between my building and the car, and the car and the restaurant," Mac said as she began to drape the wrap around her shoulders.

"You look beautiful," Harm said without giving it much thought, but once the words had left his mouth, he had second thoughts. He didn't want her to think that this evening was about getting her into bed.

Acknowledging his compliment, Mac said, "Thank you." Then she added, "I'm ready to go if you are, Handsome."

"Uh," he stammered. Well, it wasn't really a word since it had no real meaning, just more of a caught off guard, don't know what to say 'fill in'. She'd thrown him off by her comment. Was she flirting with him?

Regaining some of his equilibrium he said, "Yeah, let's go."

By the time they arrived at the restaurant, the awkwardness at her apartment was gone.

After they'd ordered, Mac asked if he'd been assigned any interesting cases, and he said that there was nothing worth mentioning, and then he asked her about the case that had kept her so busy this week.

As it turned out, the case that Mac was defending in court was a convoluted one, and with the interruptions of the waiter checking on them, it took Mac the rest of dinner to tell him about it.

During the drive back, they talked about how the evening had turned cold while they'd been eating, how nice their meal had been and other such idle chit-chat.

Being a gentleman, Harm got out of the car to escort Mac to her door. For Mac's part, she didn't object when he accompanied her because she was having a good time. She'd missed being able to talk to him this week.

Mac turned the key in the lock and pushed open the door.

"Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee or tea?"

"I don't want you to be able to pin any blame on me for not getting your closing argument written this weekend, so I should go and let you get some sleep so you can start on it fresh in the morning."

"Nonsense, come in. I have all weekend to get my work done. Besides, you know what they say, all work and no play..." Mac said happily as she stepped into her apartment.

"If you're sure," Harm said as he followed her inside.

"I'm sure. Now, did you want coffee or tea?" Mac asked as she removed her wrap and placed it on top of her purse.

"Tea."

"Then make yourself at home. I'll be back in a minute with our tea."

Harm watched as her turn made the skirt portion of her dress move like small, gently rolling waves coming to shore.

Once she was out of the room, Harm finally took a breath.

As Mac made tea in her kitchen, Harm was thinking about how much better Mac was handling their tryst than he was. The only explanation for her being so calm about it was that she didn't have feelings for him. Was this the same no-strings idea that she'd had in mind in Australia? Perhaps it wasn't. Maybe it was just that, being alone for the last year, she'd had a physical need and, since he'd been in need, emotionally at least, it was just as she'd said, a moment in time when they'd both wanted or needed the same thing, and now that moment was over.

Harm was sitting on her couch lost in thought when Mac returned with their tea. It was the sound of her placing the tray down on the coffee table that pulled him into the present once more.

Mac sat down beside him.

"Harm, I had an ulterior motive for asking you to stay for tea," Mac confessed as she offered him a cup.

"Really, what would that be?" His mind was hoping that she was going to say that she wanted to go out again, and not as friends.

"I took up all of our dinner time talking about my big case, which I want to thank you for because it felt really good to get it off my chest, but I didn't get a chance to ask how you're doing."

"I told you that I don't have any big cases...nothing to get off my chest," Harm answered, trying to divert her away from the topic that he saw coming.

Mac put her hand on his arm. "I'm not talking about work. It's been more than a week since you lost Mattie. How are you doing?"

He was staring at her hand on his arm. Even through his jacket sleeve, he could feel the warmth of her touch on his skin.

"I guess that I'm doing what's normal. I have this feeling that I haven't seen her in a while, and it's just like when she was living with her father. Then I'll want to hear her voice and I'll pick up the phone to call her before I realize that she isn't going to answer the phone."

"I'm so sorry, Harm. Is there anything that I can do?" Mac said sincerely.

"Monday afternoon, when I got home from work, I wanted to give her a call. I dialed the entire number, and it rang twice before it hit me. Earlier today, when I went to call her to let her know the date of my next carrier quals, I dialed only the first three or four numbers. So, I guess you could say that I'm doing better."

"Harm, can I ask you one more question?" Mac asked softly.

Harm nodded affirmatively, not wanting to risk his voice cracking since his emotions concerning Mattie's loss were so close to the surface.

Mac pulled her hand back and swallowed hard. This was a tough question for her to ask, but she had to do it. She had to know if she had more to worry about when he flew his quals.

"Do you think that, since Mattie died ..." Mac paused and started again. "Are you going to be okay when you fly your quals?"

"Mac, I've crashed before and I still fly. I wasn't flying the plane that Mattie was in. I wasn't even at the airfield. I'll be fine," Harm replied, though the truth was that he hadn't given the idea of flying much thought since he'd been sidetracked when he'd tried to call Mattie and realized that she was gone...again.

"Well then, what do you say to taking me up next weekend?"

Was Mac suggesting that he take her up in his plane next weekend? She hated to fly with him, and after their only flight together in 'Sarah' and their crash in a similar plane in Paraguay, he never thought that she'd ever agree to go up with him again, much less be the one to suggest the flight.

Should he let her off the hook by saying that her offer was touching, but wasn't necessary? If she suggested that he take her up, then she must be really worried about him. Should he agree to take her up to ease her mind?

He felt her hand back on his arm a moment before he heard her speak. "Harm, I want you to take me for a ride." Her words sounded like a plea.

He'd been taking too long to answer, but with her second request, he could answer only one way.

"Are you free next Saturday?"

"Yes."

"Then what do you say that I pick you up early? We'll stop for breakfast on the way to Blacksburg, and I know this place where we can pick up a picnic lunch. We'll get one, and then I'll take you for a ride."

"Sounds like a wonderful way to spend a Saturday to me."

Harm gave her a warm smile as he put down his tea cup.

"Then I'd better get out of here so you can get your closing argument written this weekend, or Cresswell may have you pulling extra duty next weekend as punishment," Harm said as he stood up. "I'll talk to you this week to confirm our plans and give you a specific time on Saturday for our departure."

"I'll be looking forward to hearing from you."

Mac walked him to the door, and they said good night to each other as he exited her apartment.

Once Harm got into his car, he wondered if he'd made the right decision by agreeing to take her flying.

Harm pulled away from the curb, still unsure about their plans for next weekend, but glad that he'd resisted the temptation to kiss her good night and feeling good that their friendship hadn't been irrevocably broken by them sleeping together.

'Now, I just have to find a way to get past that fact myself, to just leave it as a wonderful moment in time the way she has', he thought as he drove towards his apartment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Part Fifteen**

**SATURDAY**

**TWO WEEKS AFTER MATTIE'S FUNERAL **

**AIRFIELD**

**BLACKSBURG, VA**

Harm stood next to his private plane on the flight line, not the least bit anxious about taking her up.

He was an aviator - a fighter pilot. In the cockpit of a jet, you stay focused on your take off, then your mission and then bringing her down. You don't question your skills. You don't think about what could happen. Any thoughts other than those needed to control your aircraft or to carry out your mission aren't allowed in the cockpit, and he'd have no problem applying that same training to his flight today.

However, his companion for this flight wasn't an aviator, and though they'd come out alive, his track record with her along wasn't the greatest, so he was sure that she was feeling somewhat apprehensive about taking this flight with him.

"Mac, are you sure that you want to go up? I'd completely understand if you've changed your mind now that we're here," Harm said sincerely.

She reached over and patted his arm as she answered. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me."

When she'd touched his arm, he'd been momentarily distracted by estimating the number of times that she'd done that prior to and since they'd slept together - she seemed to be doing it a lot more often now in his estimation - and he thought that he must have missed something that she'd said that would make the part that he'd heard make sense.

It wasn't as if she hadn't been in a plane since the last time that he'd taken her flying. They'd even flown back from Paraguay on a plane not long after he'd crashed that borrowed plane into the trees. She didn't have a fear of flying, so why did she need to go up today and with him?

"Suddenly develop a fear of flying that you need to get over?" Harm teased.

Mac's hand left his arm and dropped to her side as her gaze shifted to the ground.

Harm couldn't believe how insensitive he'd been for not realizing that she might have been affected by the way Mattie had lost her life and for not understanding that when she'd requested that he take her flying. However, maybe it had been partially about him and his upcoming carrier quals. On the other hand, it might be about her own worries, and he was about to offer his apology for making light of her fears when she spoke.

"I need to go up with you -" she said softly.

"- To make sure that I'm going to be okay when I fly my carrier quals," Harm said, cutting her off and finishing her sentence the way that he thought that she was going to finish it, so it surprised him when she corrected him.

"Not exactly." Mac paused to take a breath. "I know that, once you've flown a successful flight, you'll be okay no matter what kind of plane you're in, and if you aren't okay on your first flight...I want to be there for you."

Once again, her words had left him wanting to pull her to him and embrace or kiss her. He needed contact with her, but she'd made it clear that what she needed was a ride in his plane, so he raised his hand and allowed his index finger to lift her head until they'd reestablished eye contact.

"Then get your gear. I'll start the pre-flight checks," he said.

She smiled. "Make sure that you check the fuel line," she said teasingly.

The mood that only a second ago had made a kiss seem imminent was broken by her words, causing him to lower his hand from her face.

"I'll think about it," Harm replied with a raised eyebrow before stepping away from her to check over his plane in preparation for their departure.

Mac thought that him saying that he'd 'think about it' was an odd thing for him to say since she'd sustained a bullet wound in her thigh on that trip.

Harm hadn't been thinking about the injury that she'd received on the outing that she'd referenced. His thoughts had been on how he'd like to spend the night stuck in the woods with her again. The image that he was seeing in his head was them snuggled together much like they'd been in the desert in Afghanistan - only in civilian clothes and without an air raid to ruin the moment.

As Harm started the inspection of this plane, Mac said, "If you want a reminder of why it would be a good idea to check it, I'll show you the scar on my leg."

Harm cursed himself for being so flip with his original response and not thinking about what else had happened on that trip.

"I wasn't thinking about that part of the trip," he confessed, not looking in her direction.

"Harm!"

Mac said his name with such authority that his years of military training had unconsciously caused his head to turn until he was looking at her.

"If you want to spend the night with me, you don't have to do anything to make it happen. You just have to ask," she told him softly.

Harm swallowed hard. Had she really just said that all he had to say was that he wanted to be with her? Was it that easy now? Or had it always been, and he was guilty of what she'd said - making simple things complicated.

"If I asked, what would you say?"

Harm couldn't believe that he'd actually uttered the first thought that had come into his head.

She hadn't worded her statement clearly, and what she'd said had put her in a situation in which she didn't often find herself.

She'd meant that, if he didn't want to be _alone_, she was willing to spend the night with him, but given that they'd had sex two weeks ago and the way that he was looking at her, waiting for her to respond, she was sure that he was thinking about them spending the night having another intimate encounter.

She needed to be careful with her answer. After all, it wasn't that she was ruling out ever having sex with him again. It was that she wanted another encounter, if there was to be one, to come naturally from the emotion of the moment, the way that it had the first time. If they were to get together for the express purpose of having sex, then not only would that encounter be meaningless, it would taint that first beautiful experience that she'd already stored in her memory.

As if she'd taken the last few seconds to ponder his question in depth, she offered a vague answer that would save her from having to explain the difference to a man about asking to spend the night versus asking if they want to have sex.

"I'd have to say that it depends on the way you ask," she said with a coy smile.

'She's trying to tell me something with her cryptic answer,' he thought as he finished inspecting his plane.

He didn't know what it was and he didn't want to press her to tell him. There was something appealing about letting it stay her secret for now and seeing if she'd reveal more clues as the day went on.

Harm came from around the other side of the plane and announced, "Ground inspection completed, checked the fuel line..." He raised two fingers. "...twice, so, if you're ready to board, ma'am, I just need to know if I should grab our lunch to take with us or if we'll be returning to have lunch here."

"It depends on whether or not you know of someplace to dine that has a view of the water," she said with an aristocratic air.

"If a lake view is acceptable to you, madam, I do know of a place," Harm replied in much the way that the butler of a woman of aristocracy would speak to her.

"Then let's have lunch by the water," she said with a smile.

"As the lady wishes," he said, offering his hand to steady her as she climbed up to get into his plane.

**AT THE LAKE**

From the air, the spot that Harm pointed to as their lunch location looked like a blue dot surrounded by a green rim. However, as Harm brought "Sarah" down nice and easy for a smooth landing, Mac could hardly believe the sight that she was taking in as the dot grew bigger.

After getting out of the plane, Mac walked towards the lake with Harm following behind her as soon as he'd retrieved their box lunch and a blanket.

As they reached a tree near the water's edge, Harm began to spread the blanket while Mac continued to walk closer to the water.

"This place is amazing. How'd you find it?" Mac questioned as she looked out over the pool of water surrounded by a mixture of pine trees and other trees just beginning to get the nibs of what, in a few weeks when spring arrived, would be their leaves.

"Spotted it from the air during a flight," Harm replied, focused on his task of setting up for lunch.

"What made you investigate that blue dot from the air?" Mac said, still awestruck by the beauty and serenity of their location.

Harm had been here before and knew how breathtaking the place was, especially on the first visit, but he was, at the moment, more interested in making sure that Mac had a good time. They hadn't called their dinner last Friday or their plans today 'a date,' but both occasions had that 'feel' to them, and he was going to make sure that she had a good time.

"I don't know. I can tell you that, when I saw it from the air, I immediately wanted to check it out, but I don't know what drew me to this place," he said, kneeling on the blanket with his back to her and opening the small, soft-sided cooler containing their lunch.

"Well, I can say that I'm certainly glad you did. This place is peaceful, and it's just the kind of place that I needed after the last couple of weeks and the cases that I've had," Mac said before turning and moving towards Harm to have lunch.

He didn't hear her moving closer to him. He just felt her hand on his shoulder for support as she lowered herself down onto the blanket.

"Anything that I can do to help?" she asked while she was kneeling down next to him.

"No, and I hope that sandwiches are okay with you for lunch..." he said, lifting one of two sandwiches from the square bag. "...but don't worry, I ordered you the sandwich that the cafe calls the Cowboy," he said as he offered her the first sandwich.

"Why do they call it that?" Mac asked, taking the proffered sandwich and sitting down.

"Because it's white bread piled high with roast beef and topped with lettuce and tomato, more like a garnish than part of the sandwich...though you might not like it." Mac gave him an odd look, so he explained himself, "It doesn't come with ketchup."

Mac rolled her eyes at his comment before she began to pull back the plastic wrap on her sandwich.

As he pulled out what was obviously his sandwich, she asked, "What name do they use for the sandwich that you ordered, the Stickboy?"

The smirk on her face was one that told him that she felt that she'd evened the score for his remark about her carnivorous eating habits.

"No, they call it the Californian. Whole grain bread, lettuce, tomato, bean sprouts and a spread made with avocado and yogurt in place of mayo."

"Sounds...healthy..." she said with a wrinkled nose like she'd just gotten a whiff of soured milk "...while mine sounds delicious," she continued with a big smile.

"You may want to refrain from turning your nose up at 'healthy' too soon, or I won't share the carrot sticks or grapes with you."

"No chips?" Mac questioned with a pout.

"No chips, and there's water to drink, so that meat..." he said, pointing at the sandwich of which she was about to take a bite "...is the only unhealthy thing on the menu today."

She took a big bite of her sandwich and then closed her eyes as if she were enjoying her last meal.

He shook his head, and all he could think about was how much he loved that meat-eating Marine.

They didn't talk while they ate their lunch. Both were busy soaking in the view, including an occasional glance at each other, and reflecting on their own thoughts in their quiet surroundings while they enjoyed their lunch.

With lunch eaten, they sat a while longer before Mac broke the silence.

"I know that we have a long drive back to DC after we land, but can we stay here a little while longer?" she asked softly.

"Do you want to just sit here or do you want to pack up and take a walk around the lake before we head back?" Harm questioned.

"Can we sit here for a few more minutes and then pack up and take a walk?"

"Sure," Harm replied, for which he was rewarded by her leaning her head against his shoulder.

Harm didn't mind sitting in silence at all, with her right beside him and resting her head against him. If they'd brought provisions, he'd have been content to stay there all night...all weekend, for that matter.

Mac sat next to him, feeling the same way. However, fifteen minutes later, knowing that they couldn't stay without water or blankets to keep them warm when the sun went down, she stood and spoke.

"We should pack up and skip the walk. If we don't get moving..." Harm stood to start packing up as Mac continued to speak. "...we won't get back to DC before midnight."

"I don't have any plans, so I'm in no hurry," Harm stated, hoping that she'd reconsider her sudden change in plans.

"No, I asked you to take me flying. I didn't ask you if you wanted to spend all day and night with me."

"Then we have time for that walk because, morning, noon or night, you don't have to ask. You just have to let me know what you want to do, and I'm there because I enjoy spending time with you."

"Then let's finish up so we can go for that walk," Mac responded with a wide, happy smile.

Without consciously reaching for the other, a few steps into their walk, their hands found each other's, and they walked for nearly forty-five minutes, hand-in-hand, before they returned to the plane.

Standing next to the plane, Mac looked out towards the lake once more before turning to Harm.

"Thank you for bringing me here. I haven't felt this relaxed or at peace in quite a while," she said softly before her lips found his.

The kiss that ensued was soft and tender, but there was definitely more to it than two friends would exchange.

Their lips parted, and Harm croaked out, "You're welcome." Then he cleared his throat and asked, "Are you ready to go now?"

"No, I'm not ready, but it's time," Mac replied.

A moment later, Harm was once again aiding her as she climbed into his plane for their return flight.


	16. Chapter 16

**Part Sixteen**

**SUNDAY **

**JUST AFTER MIDNIGHT**

**MAC'S APARTMENT**

**GEORGETOWN**

Whether it was especially because of the hour or because, no matter the hour, he was a gentleman, Harm had walked Mac to her door.

Once Mac had unlocked and pushed open her door, she turned to Harm.

"Are you coming in for a cup of coffee or tea?" she asked him.

"It's past midnight. Don't you want to get to bed rather than have company?"

She thought that it was strange that he'd mention bed and company in the same sentence, since she wouldn't mind having company in bed as long as he was the company.

"I..."

She'd started to say that she didn't sleep well alone, but that sounded too much like she was hinting that he should spend the night in her bed.

"I do need some rest, but I've had such a wonderful time today that I'm finding it hard to let it end. So I wouldn't mind if you stayed for a while. We could have coffee or tea and talk or watch a movie."

"I've had a great time, too, but we can go out again. How does your schedule look for tomorrow?" Harm asked, not wanting to leave without making plans for another 'date'.

"Harm, I can't keep monopolizing your time. I'm sure that there's another woman with whom you'd like to your share your little piece of heaven, the place where you took me to today."

"No, that's _my_ place. You are and will be the only woman, the only person who I've taken there." He paused for a split second and then added while shrugging his shoulders, "I guess that makes it _our_ place now, though." His eyes were fixed on hers as he spoke.

His admission that he'd taken no one else...that they had a place...made her heart swell with pride that she was that special to him that he would take her and only her there.

With his words hanging in the air and their eyes locked on each other, the electricity that could've led to a kiss earlier at the airfield was back, and it arced between the two of them so vividly that one could almost see the sparks showering the hallway.

This time, it wasn't a one-sided move. Their faces simultaneously moved closer to each other's as his hands came up to rest on her hips.

When their lips came together, Mac's arms went up around his neck.

Their kiss came to a natural close, and Harm pulled back slightly.

"I should go," Harm said softly and sincerely. After all, he knew that he _should_ go. He just didn't want to leave.

"Stay..." she said breathlessly, wanting him to sweep her off her feet, take her to bed and make love to her.

The quizzical look on his face was all the hesitation from him that she needed to regain her composure.

"...for coffee," she added, removing her arms from around his neck.

"No movie?" he said jokingly while removing his hands from her hips.

"If you aren't too tired...sure, coffee and a movie..." she said with a friendly smile.

Harm wondered if her friendly smile had always been that alluring or if its new magnetic hold on his heart was one of the side effects of them sleeping together.

"...but no movies about pilots or flying or -" Mac continued, stepping into her apartment.

"So, I'm staying for a bad movie _and_ bad coffee?" Harm teased, following her inside.

Mac spun around, ready to take a retaliatory shot at him, but she didn't have a chance to say anything before he spoke again.

"It's okay though, because I'd rather watch bad movies and drink bad coffee with you than be anywhere else with anyone else."

Knowing full well that his jab at her coffee and her choice in movie genres was going to go unchallenged now that he'd said something so sweet about being here with her while he had his flyboy smile firmly in place, she cursed to herself, 'Damn him and that smile!'

"If we're going to watch a movie, would you prefer to have soda and popcorn instead of coffee?" she asked.

"Popcorn actually sounds pretty good," Harm replied.

Mac smiled. "Then I'll make the popcorn while you find us a movie to watch," she said, stopping briefly to put down her things before heading to the kitchen to fix some microwave popcorn.

A few minutes later, Mac came out of the kitchen carrying two cans of soda and a bowl of popcorn.

"So, what are we watching?" she asked as she made her way towards him on her couch.

"I flipped through the channels and didn't find a movie that looked interesting," Harm replied, waving the remote in his hand in the direction of the TV.

"Chloe sends me a DVD every year for Christmas, plus the ones that I've bought myself, so surely I have something that we can agree on to watch." Mac was hoping that he hadn't had second thoughts about staying for a little bit while she was in the kitchen. "I'll get them," she said while placing the sodas and bowl down on the coffee table.

"Don't go to the trouble. Sit, relax and take a turn with the remote. Maybe you'll find something that you like that we can watch on TV," Harm said, making a motion with his hand that still held the remote for her to sit down next to him.

'Did he say that he flipped through the channels?' Well, she couldn't be upset with a man who didn't know about the channel guide for learning what was on TV when he didn't own a TV.

Conveniently, after cycling through the channel guide, she found a movie that was going to start in a few minutes that she'd seen before, but, if she remembered correctly, it was pretty good, so they now had a movie to watch.

The movie had barely begun, and Mac was already dreading when it ended and Harm said good night.

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

They were sitting on the couch side by side, eating popcorn and watching the movie.

Things were going well...until their hands reached into the popcorn bowl at the same time, and they touched.

They each looked down into the bowl, neither attempting to move their hand. Then they looked up, and their eyes locked on each other's.

The electricity of their attraction returned as they looked longing into each other's eyes, each wanting more contact with the other than the mere touching of their hands.

Instead of breaking eye contact, the field of energy became magnetic, and their faces moved towards each other's until their lips met.

Harm expected Mac to pull away. Mac expected Harm to pull away. Neither of them did, and the tentative kiss that was seeking permission to continue gave way to a soft, tender kiss of affection as Harm moved his hand to comb his fingers through Mac's hair.

As if he'd regained his senses, he pulled his lips from hers. "I have to go," he whispered breathlessly while backing away from her.

He was staring into the soft brown eyes of the woman he loved, and all he was thinking about was getting out of her apartment before he pushed passed the limit of her tolerance of his advances.

"Please don't go," she said, slipping the bowl of popcorn out of the way and onto the coffee table.

Her words had sounded like a plea, and Mac hoped that she hadn't sounded desperate, but she wanted him. Her lips were missing his lips, and her body was screaming for his touch.

Hearing her words, Harm's lips returned to hers.

Unlike their first time, when he'd hesitated at every stage to give her the opportunity to say no or to request him to stop, this time he was certain that, what they'd started, they were going to finish.

As their most recent kiss began to heat up, Harm's fingers found the hem of the yellow sweater that she'd worn today, and soon the warmth of his hand on her back had her heart racing.

Their first time had been nice, but apprehension at moving from kissing her lips to placing kisses down her throat towards the valley between her breasts had made the moves forward seem disconnected, but tonight, he moved slowly and methodically, first kissing her here and then there, then touching her here and then there until her lips were swollen from his kisses, her heart was racing from his touch and her body moved involuntarily as he took them to the heights of the love that they felt for each other, but each, for their own reasons, couldn't verbally express.

Sated from their joining, they fell asleep in Mac's bed.

LATER SUNDAY MORNING

They woke to the ringing of Harm's cell phone.

It took Harm several moments to become awake enough to realize what the sound was and then to retrieve the device from his discarded pants on the floor. So, by the time he had his phone in his hand, he'd missed the call.

"Who was it?" Mac asked in a sleepy voice.

"I don't know," he replied, pushing buttons on the keypad, trying to pull up the screen that would list his missed call. "I'm checking."

His late night and the fact that he'd been awakened by the phone had him apparently lacking the coordination to accomplish the task of pulling up the screen, so he was relieved when the phone beeped, indicating that he had a new voice mail. Now he could press one button to connect him so that he could listen to the message, and then he wouldn't only know who'd called, but how important it was so that he could determine if they could get more sleep before he returned the call.

He listened to the message and then placed his phone down on the night table. He lifted his arm, giving Mac the opportunity to move into her spot snuggled against him.

"Was it anyone important?" she asked as she scooted closer to him and draped her arm across his abdomen.

"It was Rachel Smithfield. She was calling to check on me since it's been two weeks since the funeral and to ask me to come for brunch next Sunday at her place."

"You should call her back," Mac said, avoiding eye contact with him by resting her cheek against his chest and covering her disappointment that, once Harm began to pursue Rachel, their time together like this would be over.

"It isn't important. I'll call her later. Right now, sleep and then breakfast..." he said with a yawn as he settled his arm around her shoulders.

"Harm, you should call her back now so that she'll know that you're interested in her." Mac couldn't believe that she was offering him advice on how to a get another woman. Maybe it was the fact that she'd accepted from the start that what they had was temporary, a moment in time.

"If I were interested in her, I would call her back, but since I'm not, I can return her call after we have breakfast."

"You aren't interested in her?" Mac said like a question.

Harm rolled to his side and propped his head up on his hand.

"When Mattie moved back to live with Tom, Rachel and I would arrange to meet somewhere so that Mattie and her daughter, Susan, a good friend of Mattie's could see each other, but there wasn't and isn't anything going on between us. She isn't over the death of her husband yet, and, in case you haven't noticed… I'm more than a little interested in you."

Mac felt a little silly for assuming that there was something between them when he hadn't said that there was...wait, did he just say that he was interested in her?

"No, I hadn't noticed," she said sheepishly.

Harm leaned into her. "Then let me show you again," he whispered before his lips claimed hers.

A sense of euphoria washed over her as they kissed, and the thought of the things that she'd seen or heard that had made her think that he wanted to be with Rachel were forgotten with this kiss.

The kiss and the ensuing lovemaking were both intensified because, not only did she _know _that he knew that she was the one who was with him, but she also _knew_ that he was making love to her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Part Seventeen**

**TUESDAY**

**THREE WEEKS LATER**

**JAG HEADQUARTERS**

**FALLS CHURCH, VA **

Having just been in the courtroom where the guilty verdict in the high-profile murder case that he'd been assigned to prosecute had just been read, Harm was making his way to Mac's office to ask her if she wanted to have dinner with him tonight to celebrate the end of his all-night work sessions that had been occurring frequently while he'd been working on this case.

He made it to her office door, knocked lightly and, when he heard a man's voice from inside say, "Enter," he remembered that this wasn't Mac's office anymore.

Had he really forgotten that she wasn't here or was he just trying to will the reality away?

Harm could've, perhaps should've opened the door and offered the new occupant a lame excuse: how he'd been walking while preoccupied and walked right past his own door and bumped into the major's door because he'd left his own door open, or Harm could have just said, "Major, I've been tied up in court this week, but I wrapped up my case and wanted to extend an offer to be of any assistance that I can since you're new here at JAG HQ." He could have, but he didn't. No, he made a hasty retreat to his office without saying a word.

**HARM'S OFFICE**

He entered his office, closed the door and made his way to his desk where he collapsed into his chair.

Mac's replacement had arrived yesterday - three weeks to the day of Mac receiving the news of her transfer at the morning staff meeting.

Sitting at his desk and staring off into space, someone happening to glance into his office would easily see that he was lost in thought. Some might assume that he was pondering a point of law related to a case and some might think that he was taking a moment to reflect on the case that he'd just concluded before moving on to the next one. He wasn't doing either.

He was reflecting on the Monday morning three weeks ago, the morning that Mac had received her orders after their Saturday date to fly that had turned into them spending all day Saturday together and him not leaving her place until after dinner on Sunday.

****FLASHBACK****

It was during the morning staff meeting. Everyone could see the pleased smile on her face at the recognition for a job well done that was being bestowed on her by being given her own command, but Harm wondered if anyone but him saw the devastated look in her eyes when the general said, "It's for Joint Legal Services, Southwest. Colonel, you'll be stationed in San Diego."

Maybe no one else could see the look in her eyes because, as soon as the general had made her destination clear, she'd looked at him, not the general.

"It's only five and a half hours of flying time away," he'd offered as words of support for her career move and, at the same time, suggesting that the distance that was going to separate them didn't have to keep them apart.

Mac's flight to San Diego was leaving on Thursday afternoon, and she was to report for duty the next Monday, so they had only three days to decide a course of action concerning their relationship.

They'd been in the elevator together, but had made the ride to the Ops floor where their offices were located in silence. However, as they stepped through the doors to the bullpen, she spoke, "What just happened?"

"Your world just got turned upside down," Harm answered.

"And yours didn't?" she retorted as they reached her office.

He followed her inside and waited until she'd moved behind her desk and had turned to face the door as if she were preparing to sit down before he leaned forward slightly and whispered, "I won't argue that it makes it tougher on us, but it doesn't have to end when we've only just begun."

He didn't know it, but she'd been thinking about a possible solution during their ride in the elevator. However, she'd also come to the conclusion that, no matter how good they were together in bed, it wouldn't be worth it.

"I know that the general said that I could choose my staff, and I could use you as my blue suit XO, but I can't take you with me, even if he did say that no one was off limits." She leaned towards him and whispered, "I'm not taking you with me when I know that I'd be ending my career that I've worked so hard to obtain because I'd be sleeping with my XO."

She straightened her spine, but kept her voice low. "We'll just have to face the fact that 'our moment' is over and go on with our lives, having just our memories."

'And what memories they are...' she thought to herself '...especially after this past weekend when any doubts that I may have still had about his interest in me was erased when he'd told me that he wasn't involved with Rachel and that he was interested in me. He'd been making love to _me _both weekends that we were together.'

Harm felt like he'd been kicked in the gut, or maybe lower, and his voice reflected it and came out in a painful whisper, "Mac, let's have dinner. I'll come to your place and help you pack, whatever, but let's talk about -"

"It'll be hard at first, but a clean break is for the best," she said firmly, interrupting him.

Mac didn't let him finish because her mind was made up. They'd been good together, and she had her memories of their special place. It was better to end it here and now than to spend weeks or months emailing, talking on the phone and letting it fizzle out slowly, taking away from the fun that it had been while it had lasted.

He didn't know what to say to get her to change her mind. He thought about blurting out that he loved her and that it should earn him at least a dinner to plead his case, but he knew that she'd only accuse him of being like this when she had one foot out the door, so he turned to leave.

"Harm..." He turned around, hoping that she'd changed her mind, at least about talking about it, but she hadn't. "I'm leaving with the regret that it couldn't have lasted at least a little longer, but our being together happened for a reason. It wasn't a mistake. I just wanted you to know that."

Harm gave her a nod of comprehension, though he didn't understand. If she was going to regret not having more time, why wouldn't she have dinner with him and talk about continuing their relationship?

****END FLASHBACK****

He'd thought of several things to say to her at that moment. The meanest one of which was along the lines of, 'Well, with this stake in my heart, it sure feels like I made a hell of a mistake by getting involved with you, but then I knew the risks, didn't I? I even commented on it once or twice, and, frankly, at the moment, I'm not sure whether I should be glad that you didn't leave me dead or wishing that you had so that it wouldn't hurt so damn much.'

Instead and in hindsight, the best idea that he'd had was to give her a nod and say, "Take care and keep in touch."

Her polite response had been, "Email and phone lines work both ways."

That was the last thing that she'd said to him, at least the last thing that he'd heard as he'd quickly left her office.

Three days later, she was gone, and, just like that, it was over.

**LATER THAT TUESDAY**

Harm returned to his office with coffee in hand and got a few things out of his briefcase.

Now sitting at his desk, legal pad out, pen in hand, coffee at the ready and staring off into space again, he was thinking about the last time that he'd felt this lonely.

It had been after losing his job with the CIA. Losing the job hadn't been the part that had made him depressed. It had been the accumulative effect of having lost his navy career, Mac and then his job as a pilot for 'the company' in the course of such a short time. After taking a few days to lick his wounds and drink a little, he'd decided to hit the open road on a motorcycle and had headed for his plane, the restoration of which had saved him from himself after this ramp strike, and that's where he'd met Mattie.

Oh God, how he missed her.

After his ramp strike, he'd been depressed, but he'd had his grandmother and that plane to pull him out of his tailspin.

When he'd found out the fate of his father, he'd had his best friend, Mac, by his side and his career to focus on.

He could have taken a turn down the path of self-destruction after Paraguay and his multiple career changes had Mattie not come into his life.

The pain in his heart when Mattie had decided to live with her father was nothing compared to the pain of her death, and he'd never have made it through those first few days without Mac.

Oh God, how he missed Mac, too.

'However, what was done was done,' he thought.

He needed to find a way to wrap his head around the fact that Mac was gone and that she wasn't coming back.

'Easier said than done, as the old saying goes', he thought.

Mac had left three weeks ago. Mattie had been gone for five weeks now.

Maybe it was time to stop feeling depressed and do something to get his mind off of things. He needed to get away for a few days. It was time for him to get on that motorcycle and ride ...or go flying...or maybe sailing would help him this time.

A knock on his office door pulled Harm from his thoughts.

"Enter."

"Commander Rabb..." the general's new yeoman began "...General Cresswell wants to see you ASAP."

"Thank you, Petty Officer," Harm replied, already getting to his feet.

He thought that it was perfect timing since he'd been just moments away from asking to see the general to arrange for some leave time.

**GENERAL CRESSWELL'S OFFICE**

Cresswell didn't believe in becoming involved in the personal lives of his people, unless they sought him out. However, Rabb's recent behavior had gone on long enough and, as his CO, it was time that he had a talk with him.

General Cresswell paced next to the sailor whom he had standing at attention in front of this desk.

Cresswell had thought that the commander was returning to work too soon by returning on the second day after his 'daughter's' funeral. Rabb had seemed melancholy during the first week, but sadness, irritability and a certain amount of anger were all natural feelings for a person to have immediately after suffering the loss of a loved one, so the general hadn't given it much thought. However, in the last two weeks, Rabb had gone from melancholy to somber and from irritable to short-tempered, so he'd been grateful that Rabb had kept himself holed up in his office with the door closed most of the time. What had kept Cresswell from saying anything sooner had been that Rabb's work hadn't suffered, but now that the high-profile murder case that he'd been assigned to prosecute had ended yesterday in a conviction, it was time to have this talk.

"Have a seat, Commander," Cresswell ordered.

Harm did as instructed while Cresswell made his way around his desk. He wanted this to be a 'friendly' conversation so as not to put Rabb on the defensive, but he wanted Rabb to understand that his CO was the one who was doing the talking and that he should consider friendly advice as an order.

"Commander Rabb, you did an excellent job on the prosecution of Ensign Marcus."

"Thank you, sir," Harm responded.

"However, on a personal note, it seems to me that you haven't been quite yourself recently, which is why I wanted to see you."

"I believe that your observations are accurate, sir, and if it's possible now or in the next couple of weeks, I'd like to take a few days off to sort out some things, sir."

Cresswell hadn't thought that this meeting would go like this. He'd been prepared to order the commander to take some time off, and here he was asking for it.

"How long do you think that you'd need?" Cresswell asked to see if he and Rabb were on the same page.

"If you could spare me for two weeks, I think that would be ideal, but a few days or a week would work if that's all the time that you can spare me for now, sir."

"Two weeks will be fine, and I'll make it effective as soon as you've informed me that you've briefed someone to handle the sentencing hearing for Ensign Marcus and have reassigned your current case load."


	18. Chapter 18

**Part Eighteen**

**THURSDAY MORNING**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**NORTH OF UNION STATION**

Harm woke with a pounding headache. It was no ordinary headache because even his teeth hurt.

No, he had a hangover.

Judging by the way his head felt, heavy and swollen on his shoulders, it was a king-sized one to boot.

He moved in an attempt to sit up, and his hand touched something other than the sheet-covered mattress.

His hand immediately retracted from the object, and he aborted the attempt to get up at the moment while his mind searched for memories of what or who he'd brought to bed with him last night.

His memory of last night was kind of blurry. Maybe if he took a running start at it, so to speak, the events would unfold more easily.

He remembered being in court and hearing the guilty verdict read in the case against Ensign Marcus. That was Tuesday morning.

He remembered sitting in his office that afternoon, brooding over his recent losses of Mattie and Mac that had driven him to ask the general for two weeks leave, which the general had granted with one stipulation, that it wouldn't be effective until he'd reassigned his caseload.

His caseload had been light since he'd returned to work after Mattie's funeral, and it had been kept that way because of the time-consuming Marcus case. However, between reviewing cases for reassignment, which took the rest of Tuesday to accomplish, and time to brief each new counsel, especially Bud, who was going to handle Ensign Marcus' sentencing hearing, he hadn't finished the task until late yesterday, and his leave had officially begun at 0700 this morning.

Now he remembered his plan to celebrate being on leave last night with a trip to McMurphy's.

******FLASHBACK******

He sat down on a stool at the bar and ordered a beer.

Joann, the bartender, delivered it a moment later, and he took a sip.

He was taking a look around the place because he'd come here to be among people who were celebrating and happy, hoping that their jovial mood would rub off on him. However, it was a Tuesday night, and the place wasn't very lively.

There was a couple at a booth in the back corner who were acting like they were in a motel, not a bar, and it was like passing by an accident. You really didn't want to watch, but you'd find yourself looking back there just seconds after you'd looked away.

One of the guys sitting along the bar with Harm seemed to be already drunk since he spoke much louder than necessary when he called for another drink, and Harm heard another guy tell Joann that he was here to avoid going home.

Harm took another sip of his beer. He knew the reason that he'd given himself for coming here, but why was he really here? Was he avoiding going home to a lonely apartment? Was he...

"Excuse me. You seem to be alone, but are you waiting for someone?"

Harm had been lost in thought, staring down at his beer, and hadn't seen her approach, but when she spoke, he turned to answer her.

"No," Harm replied to the blonde, good-looking - curves like Mac - woman, probably in her early to mid-thirties.

"Well, you're too handsome to be alone. Let me buy you a drink."

Harm pointed to his glass of beer. "I've got one, thanks."

"So, you had a girl, but she broke your heart," the woman began as she sat on the barstool next to him. "So, tell me. Which sad old song is it? She didn't understand you. You cheated. She cheated. Tell me what happened that ended it."

"Nothing happened," he replied curtly.

"Sweetie, if you're here and she isn't, then something happened. Was she cheating with you and ended it so that she could go back to her husband?"

The woman was being too nosy and, in asking her questions, was bringing up too much pain for him to bear.

Harm stood, motioning for the bartender. "Look, I'm sure that you're a nice woman, but I'm not interested in talking about it or in you." Harm realized that the latter sounded harsh, but he was in a hurry to get out of there. This wasn't what he'd had in mind when he'd come here.

Joann appeared. "It doesn't look like you're ready for another one," she commented, eyeing the glass of draft that looked almost full. "So what can I get for you?"

Harm was reaching into his pocket for some cash. "The lady's drink is on me," he said before dropping some money on the bar, enough to cover his beer, the woman's drink and a tip, and then he looked at the woman. "It was nice talking to you, but I've got to go."

******END FLASHBACK******

The object that he'd touched in his bed hadn't been soft, so it hadn't made him think that there was a woman in his bed, but it was nice to remember for sure that, whatever he'd hit in his attempt to sit up, it hadn't been left there by a woman either.

Well, now that he clearly remembered the events of last night, he _had _brought a woman to bed, sort of...

On the way to his car after he'd left the bar, he surmised that he apparently hadn't been ready to be social, but the beer had tasted good, so he'd stopped and picked up a six-pack on the way back to his apartment since he didn't remember how many he had at home.

Once alone inside his apartment, he opened the first of - he wasn't sure how many - and started to drink. The first couple, he downed in gulps, not sips.

After the light-headed euphoria from the buzz of the alcohol had hit him, he'd found some wisdom in the words that he'd told the woman at the bar. "Nothing had happened."

He'd risen from the couch last night and picked up a picture of Mac and him that had been taken in Afghanistan. It was the one that, a couple of years ago, he'd given her as a Christmas gift, only she'd given him a special frame to put it in. Therefore, he'd had it copied so that each of them could have one.

With that picture in his hand, he'd stumbled his way to his bed where he'd lain talking to her picture until he'd passed out.

He reached for the object in his bed and lifted it into view. Yes, it was the picture. He'd taken Mac to bed with him the only way that he could now.

In another moment of clarity, he realized that that's what was bothering him the most about her putting an end to them. _Nothing_ had happened.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. Something had happened, but nothing bad. They'd spent a relaxing and enjoyable, even a touch romantic day together on Saturday. Then they'd made love twice on Sunday morning and, after catching up on the sleep that they'd lost by not sleeping on Saturday night, they'd awakened late Sunday afternoon with growling stomachs that had forced them to find something to eat.

After dinner, they'd kissed on the couch until Mac had pushed him away, saying, "If we keep this up, we'll end up back in bed, and tomorrow is Monday and you don't have a uniform here."

Harm had considered asking her to grab a uniform and go with him to his place for the night, but that had seemed like too much, too soon. After indulging in the feel of her lips against his another half a dozen times, he'd left without protest, but had asked her when she'd like to "go flying" again.

She'd laughed and told him that they'd have to wait to see how heavy their work load was going to be in the coming week at the staff meeting on Monday morning before they could set up another date. Then, just before they'd parted, she'd given him a good night kiss and a warm smile.

When he'd left her apartment, he'd been pleased that they were dating, and then had come the Monday morning staff meeting and the news of her transfer. Maybe that was partly why she'd said that they could never make a relationship work between them, but her transfer alone was no reason for her to call it off.

'...And there was something else.' he thought, getting a little riled up. She'd said that they were over, and he hadn't put up a fight!

Well, what would she say if he showed up on her doorstep? She certainly couldn't say that he was only this way with her when she had one foot out the door because she'd been gone for more than three weeks.

Now running on emotion and his natural determination, he sat up without the effort that his first and unsuccessful attempt had required.

He couldn't change the fact that Mattie was gone, but he _could_ do something about the situation with Mac...or he could at least try.

He was going to California, and when he returned, he'd know if he was the only one in love.

If Sarah MacKenzie wanted a fight, then he was going to give her one!

It might be a fight that ended with them being together or one that ended things for good. Either way it turned out, the push-and-pull dance of the last nine years would be over.


	19. Chapter 19

**Part Nineteen **

**FRIDAY**

**JLS OFFICE**

**SAN DIEGO, CA**

Harm was in casual civilian clothes, but his military ID had admitted him to the base and given him entry to the building that housed the JLS offices without a problem.

Harm stepped off the elevator onto the correct floor and stopped the first person he saw in uniform to ask where he'd find the JLS office. "Down the hall to the end and then through the double doors on the right," the legalman politely answered.

They were simple directions that had Harm standing in front of the watch desk a few paces inside the door.

Harm didn't garner the extra attention that he would've if he'd been in uniform from the petty officer on watch, who'd be required to stand when the commander approached, but in his civvies, he was still treated with respect as the petty officer greeted him.

"Hello, sir, how may I help you?"

"Petty officer, I need for you to point me in the direction of the CO's office."

The petty officer wondered why a civilian would be seeking out his CO, but the man did have a military haircut, so maybe he was in the service. Who knew? It wasn't his place to ascertain if this man had an appointment with his CO or not. He had a visitor's badge, so he'd cleared the security desk downstairs, and that meant that he was free to go see Petty Officer Coates and at least try to get in to see the colonel.

The petty officer did one better than point the man in the right direction when he saw someone coming in behind Harm.

"Wilson," the man at the desk called, waiting until he had the attention of the petty officer who was entering before saying more.

"Yes, Petty Officer Owens?"

"Would you please show this man the way to the colonel's office?"

"Certainly," Wilson said.

When Harm turned around, Petty Officer Wilson recognized him from JAG headquarters. Wilson had been one of the people whom the colonel had selected for her staff.

"Commander Rabb, how's the weather in DC, sir?"

The petty officer at the desk was glad that he'd been nice to the man in civilian attire when he heard Wilson greet him.

"Warming up, but not as sunny as it is in Southern California, Petty Officer."

"Yes, sir," Wilson said as the two men stepped away from the entrance, making their way towards Petty Officer Coates' desk outside the colonel's office.

Harm had been able to get a flight out of DC last night, but it hadn't been a direct flight, so, with one stop and a three-hour layover, his plane had touched down a little after nine this morning, local time, and since he'd traveled with only a carry-on bag, the only time that he'd burned at the airport had been when he'd checked out his rental car.

Harm was grateful that he'd been able to sleep off the hangover that he'd awakened with yesterday morning on his flight here, because the fluorescent lighting in the building would've wrecked havoc on his headache, and that would've been a bad situation when he didn't know how Mac was going to react to seeing him.

"Commander Rabb, what are you doing here?" Petty Officer Coates questioned while getting to her feet.

"Thank you, Wilson," Harm said to the petty officer as a means of dismissing the enlisted man who'd escorted him to the correct office.

"You're welcome, sir," Wilson responded before making himself scarce.

Turning back to face Coates, Harm said, "I'm here to see the colonel. Is she in?"

"Yes, sir. ... Is she expecting you, sir?" Coates asked hesitantly.

"No. Is someone in her office with her?" Harm asked.

"No, sir," Coates said, sounding...nervous?

"Did she tell you that, if I ever showed up, not to let me in? Is that it, Jennifer?" Harm questioned her, trying to find out what she was trying to tell him with her odd behavior.

"No, sir...it's just that, if she isn't expecting you, sir, you might make it worse." Coates let her voice trial off, thinking better of telling him about the colonel's mood.

"Make what worse, Jennifer?" Harm questioned.

No, Harm was her friend, so he needed to be warned.

"Her mood, sir." Harm raised a questioning eyebrow, and Jennifer continued. "She hasn't said anything, but she looks tired, and the last couple of weeks she's been moody...irritable. So, if you go in there when she isn't expecting you, that might make it worse, sir."

Coates thought that the cocky grin that appeared on Harm's face was an odd reaction to what she'd said, but she thought that his comment was even stranger.

"Don't worry, Jennifer. I'm here to fix that."

"You know what's wrong, sir?" Coates questioned.

Harm hoped that he did, given that, until yesterday, he was sure that the bullpen at headquarters was thinking something similar about him. He was also hoping that he was right because, if she was suffering from missing him, then this was going to be the best vacation that he'd ever taken to anywhere.

"I have a good idea. I was suffering from the same thing until I got a moment of clarity and figured out why, and I believe that, once I point out the problem to the colonel, she'll be fine, too."

Harm started to turn the doorknob.

"I should tell her that you're here," Coates said, referencing the fact that it was her job.

"I'll announce myself ... save you from her wrath if I'm wrong," Harm said as he twisted the knob far enough to disengage the bolt, releasing it from its slot.

Harm smiled brightly at Jennifer as he pushed the now unlatched door open.

Mac heard the door unlatch, and since the hinges needed to be lubricated, they made a slight creak that let her know that the door was opening without her having to look up.

"I believe that proper protocol is that you knock before you enter, Coates," Mac said curtly.

She hadn't looked up, but she didn't need to in order for him to know by the tone of her voice that Jennifer was right. Mac was cranky.

"I didn't knock because I wasn't sure that you'd let me in if I did," Harm said, closing the door behind him.

Mac's head shot up. "Harm, what are you doing here?"

"I came so that we could talk."

"There's nothing more to say. We said it all three weeks ago."

He was now standing in front of her desk. "No, you said what you wanted to say, and I didn't fight you."

She stood so that she wouldn't be looking up at him. Well, at least she'd be closer to his eye level when she spoke. "Harm, don't make this any harder than it has to be. Don't make a scene that's going to take away from what we had."

"What we _have_, Mac..." He had her attention. He could see it in her eyes. "...unless you can tell me that you felt no connection when we were together."

"Of course there was a connection, Harm. We've known each other for years and we've always had a connection. That's how I could put my finger on your location in the Atlantic."

"So what happened between us meant nothing to you," Harm said sadly, feeling the ground under him giving way.

"Of course it meant something. It meant a lot to me that, when you needed someone after you lost Mattie, I was the one who you turned to for support, and though I hated the reason, it was wonderful to feel the connection with you so strongly again after the past couple of years."

"I've got so much that I want to say to you, but this isn't the place for such a personal conversation." He paused. Her eyes were beginning to glisten. She was holding back tears. "Have dinner with me tonight?" he asked hopefully.

Harm was holding his breath. A "no" response would make him plead his case right here, and if she rejected him, he'd be a broken man. If that happened, he didn't want to have to leave her office in that condition, walking past people who knew him.

There was something about the way that he was looking at her that made her feel that the conversation that he wanted to have tonight was going to make or break their relationship and, in fear that it would be the latter, she hesitated before agreeing to have dinner with him.

"Dinner would be nice," she finally said softly, wishing that he'd pull her into his arms and kiss her madly.

"What time do you want me to pick you up?" he asked, hiding the relief that he was feeling.

"I haven't found a place, yet, so it'll be easier for me to meet you somewhere," Mac said. It wasn't that he couldn't pick her up at the BOQ. She just didn't want him to do that. She wanted her own transportation back to her quarters in case dinner didn't go well.


	20. Chapter 20

**Part Twenty**

**FRIDAY NIGHT**

They'd had a delicious dinner at a restaurant with a wonderful view of the water, and now they were walking side-by-side in Embarcadero Park along the water's edge without exchanging a word to each other.

In her office, Harm had said that he had a lot to say to her, and over dinner they'd had a nice conversation, though it was about how she liked being in command, the weather, his latest court victory and about a half-dozen other things that didn't have a thing to do with what she'd thought that the main purpose of this evening was suppose to be - to talk about them.

The silence between them hadn't been awkward at first, but as they walked farther along the sidewalk, the quiet was becoming unsettling, and Mac wanted him to say something.

The more steps they took, the more she felt that the moment had passed, that she should've risked it and pushed him to talk to her at the office.

Mac was about to ask him to walk her back to her car when Harm finally spoke.

"Mac -" Harm got out her name before he came to an abrupt halt.

He turned to face her before he continued, "I got on the plane to come here with so much that I wanted to say to you, but it really all comes down to one thing."

Mac had stopped, too, and when their eyes locked on each other's, Harm just stood there and stared at her as if he were trying to decide whether or not to continue.

"What's that?" Mac asked nervously, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

Seeing the swirling emotions clouding his beautiful eyes, Mac was suddenly feeling much more uncomfortable now than she had been by the silence that had been hanging between them a moment ago.

"You were only partially right in your office about what led us to sleep together, but I didn't need just anyone. I needed you."

Mac's heart was in her throat as Harm put his hands on her hips.

"That's because I love you, Mac," he said softly before his lips brushed over hers.

His lips touched hers so softly, and then they were gone.

Her heart was racing, and it must be thumping so loudly that the echo of it in her ears must be affecting her hearing. Had he really just said that he loved her?

"I'd thought of all of these things to say to plead my case, but it all comes down to that one simple explanation - I love you," he said softly.

He'd said it twice, and she still hadn't said anything. Had he seen what he wanted to see in her eyes or had it been his feelings for her that had been reflected back at him?

As the seconds ticked by before she spoke, Harm wondered if he'd made a mistake in thinking that she returned his feelings.

Mac was afraid to believe her own ears. She mustn't have heard him correctly. After her brain had told her that her ears were working fine, she tried to assess the reason why he'd say such a thing.

If her ears were working properly and he _had_ said it, then maybe because he'd lost Mattie and her transfer had happened so recently, his words had come from a misguided sense of attachment and it wasn't really love that he was feeling.

He just wasn't dealing with the losses well, and his admission of love was stemming from his desire not to be alone. The reason why he'd focused on her was because she'd been the last woman with whom he'd been intimate.

Maybe he meant that he loved her for being there for him, for being his friend. Yes, that was probably it. He loved her, but he wasn't in love with her. That was it. He loved her, but not romantically, her mind reasoned.

However, her heart was saying that she needed to find out. What if being with him had felt so different because, not only had her heart been invested in the moment, but his had been, too?

This obviously wasn't going to go the way that he'd planned, and though he could've rolled with a few varying responses, her silence told him that he needed to get her back to her car and then call to cancel the plans that he'd made for them this weekend.

Harm inhaled deeply, hoping that, along with the oxygen, he'd draw in the strength to end the silence.

He didn't have to because Mac finally spoke.

"What do you mean that you love me?" she questioned in a tone that he couldn't clearly discern whether it was anger or disbelief before breaking eye contact with him. Perhaps it was a combination of the two.

"Mac, look at me." He wanted her to be looking at him so that she'd know that he was being sincere and honest with her.

Hesitantly, she did as he requested and, once he could be sure that he had her attention, he spoke softly.

"I mean that I love you. I don't know how to make it any clearer than that."

With those words spoken, his lips came to hers once more, and he administered a tender kiss full of promise before pulling his lips from hers.

"Do you understand now?" he asked in a voice deep with desire.

"Why tell me this now?" she asked, discouraged by the fact that they were now living three thousand miles apart.

He loved her, and she could easily tell him that she loved him because she did so much and had for so long, but what did it matter now that they were stationed on opposite coasts?

"Because that's the way it's supposed to go, isn't it?" Harm removed his hands from her hips, reached into his pocket and removed a small box. "First comes love, then comes marriage," he said, opening the velvet box in his hand to reveal a diamond solitaire engagement ring, "Marry me, Mac."

Mac was looking at him like he'd just revealed that he was some kind of extraterrestrial, so he wasn't sure what was on her mind or how she was going to respond to his marriage proposal.

"I don't know who you are, but what have you done with the real Harmon Rabb? The real one wouldn't fly across the country, say that he loves me and ask me to marry him." She paused. "I must be dreaming...or hallucinating...or..."

"Mac, it's me...a different me, but really me."

"Different how?" Mac inquired curiously.

This was going to be hard for him to confess, so he broke eye contact with her and took a step away.

"I've always believed that I had time to do whatever I wanted in life, but losing Mattie...someone so young who's gone forever...you just don't ever know when your number is up." He flipped the ring box closed as if to make an audible exclamation point. "Taking the advice of my best friend, I'm trying to live more in the moment, not to put things off until later in case later never comes, and if there's one thing that I've been putting off for a variety of reasons, it's telling you that I love you."

Mac's heart was swelling with her love for him as he spoke until she thought that it would burst wide open, the pressure inside her chest being relieved only after he'd finished speaking and she was finally uttering the words that had been in her heart for so long.

She took a step forward, closing the space that he'd put between them and uttered, "I love you, too."

"Enough to marry me?" he questioned, his hand squeezing the ring box that was still in his hand.

"Yes!"

He flashed his patented flyboy smile. "How about this weekend?"

"You can't be serious!" Mac exclaimed, her eyes as big as saucers as she watched Harm open the ring box.

"I'm very serious..." he said, pulling the ring from the cushion inside the box and placing the box back into his pocket. As he slipped the ring on her finger, he spoke, "...but if leaving for Vegas tonight to get married this weekend is rushing you..."

With the ring securely on her finger, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him as he continued to speak. "...then we could get a marriage license sometime this week and be married on the beach here next weekend...but that would really cut down on the time that we have for a honeymoon."

He administered a quick kiss, a peck really to her lips before he spoke once more. "Either way is fine with me, but I want to be married to you before my leave is up and I have to return to DC."

This was feeling more and more like a dream, but she found herself asking rational questions and not just saying yes the way she was sure that it would really go if it was a dream.

"Why the rush?" Mac asked.

"Because I want to be able to go back and tell Cresswell that I'm married and ask for spousal relocation. If that isn't possible, then I want to put in my request for retirement."

There was something about the way that he was looking at her, or maybe it was the sparkle in his eyes or maybe it was his words or, more precisely, the implication of his words. She could be married tomorrow - to Harm!

Her arms went around his neck and her lips crashed onto his. His arms automatically went around her waist, and he pulled her to him.

When the need for oxygen forced them to break their kiss, Mac was caught up in the moment herself.

"Viva Las Vegas," Mac said breathlessly.

With a feeling of complete joy, Harm picked her up and spun her around.

"Harm, put me down before you hurt yourself or make me sick."

Harm did as she instructed and took her hand, leading her back towards their cars.

Harm followed Mac back to the base and to the BOQ so that she could leave her car there for the weekend and pack a bag for their getaway.

Harm was standing in the parking lot of the BOQ, waiting for Mac to return with her bag.

He'd hoped that the evening would go something like this and hadn't checked into a hotel, so the bag that he'd brought with him was still in the trunk of his rental car.

The minutes were ticking by, and Harm was beginning to worry that, now that the romantic mood had been broken, she was having second thoughts.

Harm was checking his watch and wishing that he'd told her that he'd buy her anything that she needed when they got to their destination when he saw her familiar form exit the building and head in his direction without an overnight bag.

Harm's heart was in his throat as he watched her coming closer.

"Mac, please tell me that you haven't changed your mind." His words came out in a hushed plea.

"You have it partially right. I've changed my mind only about the where and when, not about my desire to marry you," Mac said, reaching out and placing her left hand on his arm.

Her words, along with the fact that the diamond ring that he'd given her was still on her finger, allowed him to let out the breath in relief that he'd been holding since he'd seen her exit the building without a packed bag.

"I don't want a long engagement, Mac," Harm stressed to her.

"I know, but I decided that I want our ceremony to be something romantic like your proposal ... on the beach at sunset or on a mountain top at sunrise. Doesn't that sound better than a chapel with a sign out front that reads: Open All Night?"

Mac got a nod of agreement from Harm before she continued. "I'm not talking about something fancy. I'm going for simple and romantic. Since I'm working all next week, do you think that we'd be able to put something like that together so soon?"

"You want simple and romantic by next weekend..." Harm said, tilting his head up as if he were calculating the likelihood that they could pull it off.

"Yes," Mac replied, more than a little curious about what was going on inside his head.

"Do you think that you'll be able to get away for an hour or two here and there to go get our marriage license and pick out a dress? If so, then I may know someone who has some connections and could help make it happen next weekend." Harm left it at that, knowing that Mac would be on pins and needles about whom he could recruit.

"When can you call them? Do you think that they'll really be willing to help on such short notice?" Mac asked breathlessly.

"It isn't that late, so I could call now, and I definitely think that she'll do it, but I have to warn you that she's opinionated, and she's going to be so excited that you might have to reel her in and not let her completely take over."

"Who are you talking about?" Mac asked, confused.

"My mother," Harm replied with a grin.

"Do you really think that she'll help us make the arrangements for the wedding?" Mac asked excitedly.

"I do," Harm answered.

"Keep practicing that, Sailor," Mac said seductively before pressing her lips to his.

When the need to act with more military decorum struck them, since they were on the base in front of the BOQ, they were forced to regain control of themselves.

"I guess we should save that until the honeymoon," Mac said before yawning. "I'll go up, finish packing my bag and be down in a minute. Just because we aren't getting married until next weekend doesn't mean that we can't practice for our honeymoon in the meantime."

"Mac, you look tired. You should go to your room, finish packing your bag and then get some sleep. I'll go see my mother and tell her what's going on. I'm sure that it won't take her long to have a list of what needs to be done and who can do what to make the wedding happen on time. So expect an early call in the morning and plan to spend tomorrow night in a nice hotel with a sailor..." Harm's cocky flyboy smile emerged. "...who has only twelve more days of liberty before he ships out..." He paused for a heartbeat and then added, "...and who intends to spend all of them with you."

"I'd argue, but I am exhausted...long day...long week...but don't call, just come by at 0700. I'll be out front waiting for you."

"I'll be here at 0800 and not a minute earlier." Harm knew that, tired or not, she'd catch the fact that he'd changed the time on her.

"You're going to keep me waiting for an hour?" she asked with a tired and muddled expression on her face.

"No, you're tired, and I want you to get an extra hour of sleep before I come to pick you up," he said, pecking her on the cheek since he feared that, if he kissed her on the lips, one or both of them would end up facing charges.

Mac turned to head back into the building, but stopped after only a step. "I love you," she said as if it were a test.

"I love you, too," Harm returned in a husky whisper of regret that it had been his suggestion that they sleep apart tonight.


	21. Chapter 21

**Part Twenty-One**

**SATURDAY **

**0715**

Mac woke slowly, feeling drained like she hadn't slept, which was the same way that she'd been waking up for the last ten days, give or take.

A quick check of her internal clock told her that she'd actually slept longer than usual.

She pushed her arms up into the air, stretching her body before she got out of bed.

She yawned as she turned on the water to shower, so she decided to crawl back into bed and enjoy a lazy Saturday there.

When she reached in to turn off the water, the diamond in her engagement ring caught the light in the room just right, and the sparkle reminded her of the reason why she'd set the alarm for so early on a Saturday morning - Harm was coming to get her.

With a dreamy-eyed look, she sighed. The ring was proof that she hadn't been dreaming. They were getting married.

Instead of shutting off the water, she turned the handles to adjust the temperature. Harm would be here in forty-five minutes to pick her up.

Today was going to be a busy day. They were going to be mapping out a plan to exchange vows next weekend.

A shower on the cold side should aid her in waking up, so she adjusted the water temperature once more.

0755

Harm pulled into the parking lot five minutes early.

Seeing Mac already standing outside waiting for him, he opted not to park the car. Instead, he drove up as close as possible to the front of her building where she was standing.

When the car stopped, Mac motioned for him to stay in the car.

"Hey," Harm said when Mac opened the back door to place her garment and overnight bags inside.

"Hey, yourself," Mac said cheerfully.

"You look like you got some rest," Harm said as Mac slipped into the passenger seat.

"I did," Mac said before applying a quick hello peck to his lips.

The kiss wasn't only a means of greeting him, but also a way to end any budding conversation.

The last thing that Mac wanted him to know was that, though she'd slept some last night, it hadn't been enough to make her feel less tired, and knowing him, he'd only start to ask questions, and she had no answers for him.

Her greeting must have been successful because, as the car began to move away from the curb, Harm made no comment about her sleep habits.

"I have to warn you before we get to the restaurant that my mother is happier about this wedding than I think I've ever seen her about anything else."

"That's because she'd given up on you ever getting married," Mac teased.

"That could be it," Harm said with a laugh and a shrug of his shoulders.

"You said that she's happy, but was that her first reaction?" Mac asked.

"Yes and no," Harm said with a mischievous grin.

Mac folded her arms and waited for him to explain, but after long moments of silence, she broke down and asked him.

"What does that mean? She was either happy or she wasn't."

"Well, if you're going to put me on the spot, I'd have to say that she wasn't, since you did specify her first reaction."

"Is she worried about who you're going to marry?"

Harm reached over and took her hand.

"No, actually, when we got to who I was marrying, that's when she became happy. She thinks that I'm a lucky guy to have landed a terrific girl like you." He lifted Mac's hand to his lips and placed a kiss on the back of it. "She did wonder, since I took so long to ask, why we were rushing to get married and not taking the time to plan a formal affair."

"You didn't tell her something that's going to be embarrassing for me, for instance that I couldn't wait to get you on the honeymoon, did you?"

"No, that's what I'll tell my buddies if they ask why we got married in such a hurry, but I wouldn't say that to my mother. I told her that, by being married before my leave is up, it allows us to request spousal relocation, and since we've waited so long to be together, we don't want to wait any longer. I told her that, either we're stationed close together or I'm going to retire, so she was all for a rushed wedding. However, she is a little worried that I won't be happy if I leave the Navy."

"You're sure that she's happy about us being married?" Mac asked to get reassurance before she came face-to-face with her future mother-in-law at their breakfast meeting.

"Sweetheart, she couldn't be happier," Harm assured her.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Mac was staring in the mirror at the fourth dress that she'd slipped into, and she hated it just like the three dresses prior to it.

When Mac had walked out to get Trish's opinion of the other dresses, Trish had told her how beautiful she looked, and Mac was sure that, when she walked out in this one, the comments would be no different.

Trish's compliments were wonderful to hear, but they didn't give Mac any insight into what she disliked about the dresses that had been selected for her.

Given the last minute preparation, Mac hadn't given much thought to the style or type of dress that she wanted, and the saleswoman assisting her had praised Mac's wonderful figure and gathered a handful of strapless, figure-hugging gowns, and Mac had hated everyone that she'd tried on so far.

As she scanned the image of herself in the mirror again, she couldn't put her finger on one thing that she didn't like about the dress.

Maybe it was the fact that a wedding gown was too formal for the beach wedding that she'd envisioned, Mac thought as she turned to see a profile of herself in dress number four.

That's what it was...they were all lovely dresses, but none of them felt right. She felt...uncomfortable in them.

Her breasts seemed to be coming out of the top, and around the hips and stomach area, she seemed to be stretching the limits of the fabric, which could be from monthly bloating since she hadn't had a period since she'd been here, but she refused to feel fat on her wedding day. Whether she'd really gained weight or not was irrelevant.

"I'm getting married on either the beach or, if it can be arranged by next weekend, on a yacht, so my dress doesn't have to be a wedding gown," Mac said to the saleswoman. "A nice dress will do just fine if you have something..." Mac started, but her voice trailed off as she smoothed the fabric of the dress and got lost in thought as to what kind of dress she saw herself wearing next weekend.

"If we have something ..." the saleswoman prompted.

"Beachy..." Mac said. Then knowing that the woman wouldn't understand from her made-up word, Mac added, "...as in less form-fitting, made of lightweight material and with some movement to it."

"If you'll give me a minute, I'll see what I can find," the saleswoman said, retreating from the dressing room, unsure of what to make of the sudden certainty of what her client wanted in a dress.

Seven minutes later, the saleswoman returned to the dressing room with two dresses.

Mac put the first one on. It seemed to draw inspiration from the Roman toga with its one bare shoulder and a knot at the top of the other shoulder. It hugged the bust area, but was loose fitting below the bust.

Mac stepped out of the dressing room to show the latest selection to Trish, feeling better about this dress than she had the gowns.

"It's a nice dress, but are you sure that you wouldn't prefer a gown? If Jim agrees to let us use his boat for your wedding, a gown won't be out of place, dear. It's quite a nice yacht."

"I don't know if this is _the_ dress, but it's closer to what I had in mind. The gowns are nice, but I just didn't feel comfortable in them. I don't mean to disappoint you, Trish," Mac said with tears starting to form in her eyes.

"I'm not disappointed, dear. It's your wedding and you can have whatever dress you want. I just don't want you to look back on your day and wish that you'd chosen a gown because you were rushing to get married before you start showing."

"What do you mean before I start showing? I'm not pregnant. What did Harm tell you?" Mac asked, now irritated with her intended.

"Harm didn't tell me anything. I'm sure that he doesn't want me to know until after you're married, but I couldn't help but see the signs. This morning, you said that nothing on the menu sounded appetizing and ordered just toast and coffee. When Harm was eating, you looked a little green around the gills, dear, and with the rush to get married and be stationed near each other, I just assumed..."

Tears began to flow down Mac's cheeks and, unable to stop them, Mac sobbed, "I can't be pregnant."

"Are you sure? If you haven't taken a test yet, I suggest that you do so," Trish said, thinking that Mac's tears were another sign that she was right.

Trish took Mac into an embrace. "I'm sorry, dear. I certainly didn't mean to upset you. Now, let's get back to the matter at hand, selecting your wedding dress."

Mac nodded against Trish's shoulder and pulled from her embrace to go try on the other dress.


	22. Chapter 22

**Part Twenty-Two **

**MONDAY MORNING**

Mac woke and looked over at Harm.

She watched him sleep as thoughts tumbled around in her head, thoughts that Trish had put there on Saturday afternoon, which she hadn't been able to put to rest.

What if it were true? What if she were pregnant? How would Harm feel about that?

It wasn't that she questioned that Harm wanted a child. She knew that he did. They'd even made a deal to have a baby together years ago, so she didn't even question that he'd want to have a baby with her...but the timing of this pregnancy, if she were pregnant, was going to be so close to Mattie's death that it didn't seem like the right time.

The doctor had said that she had less than a five percent chance of having a baby and, before Saturday night when she and Harm had checked into this hotel, they'd had intercourse exactly four times.

One time out of four sounded like a twenty-five percent chance to her, and that meant that she wasn't pregnant. It was mathematically impossible.

No, she couldn't be pregnant. She was just letting her imagination run away with her.

However, a wave of queasiness had her thinking about how she'd been feeling lately.

For the last ten days to two weeks, she'd risen from bed feeling as tired as when she'd gone to bed the night before. Then there was the feeling of being bloated, the mood swings that seemed to have her in tears at the drop of a hat and, though she hadn't actually thrown up, she'd been having bouts of nausea, though not always in the morning.

Adding fuel to her speculation was the fact that, when she'd had a moment when Harm hadn't been in the room with her yesterday, she'd checked her calendar and verified that she hadn't had a period since she'd arrived in San Diego a month ago. That fact had her once again thinking that being pregnant would explain her having all of those symptoms.

There was one way to put this crazy idea to rest. An over-the-counter test would confirm that she wasn't pregnant. All she had to do was see a negative result in order for her to let this idea go, not just to put it aside to have the idea bubble up into her thoughts in a quiet moment alone, but to truly let go of the crazy notion that she was going to experience motherhood firsthand.

Mac hoped that she wouldn't wake him as she moved slowly to get out of bed, having suddenly decided that she wouldn't tell Harm about her possible condition.

Her reasons were honorable. If she told him about her suspicion and he was excited at the prospect of becoming a father, a negative result could be even more painful for him than for her, given his recent loss. She didn't want him to get his hopes up and then have them dashed, especially with their wedding now only days away. It was best if she found out on her own and told him only if she was sure that she was pregnant.

Having slipped quietly from bed, Mac looked back at her sleeping sailor. She'd take the test to learn the truth, and she'd do it without Harm knowing to protect him.

**LATER THAT MORNING**

**MAC'S OFFICE**

Mac was sitting at her desk, staring off into space and thinking about the results of the test.

She'd left the hotel and stopped by the twenty-four-hour Vons closest to the main gate of the base to purchase a home pregnancy test on her way to work.

She'd arrived early, and the place had been nearly deserted, just the way that she'd hoped it would be so that she could get in, take the test, deposit the negative results in the bathroom trash that was shared by at least a dozen women who worked in the building without anyone being the wiser and go to work with all this pregnancy nonsense behind her.

That had been the plan, but, instead, she was sitting at her desk unable to think of anything other than the pink plus sign that had appeared on the stick in the bathroom.

A part of her wanted to believe it, take an early lunch, go to the hotel and tell Harm that he was going to be a father...that she was carrying his baby.

However, the woman who'd been told that she had less than a five percent chance of conceiving a child couldn't believe the test. She couldn't be pregnant.

She remembered reading the warning that there was some minuscule chance of a false positive on the instruction sheet. That must be it. The test was wrong. She wasn't pregnant.

Her doubts about the test's accuracy kept her from thinking about little leopard print Capri pants with a matching top and little patent leather shoes or a little sailor suit for her little sailor, but the thought of a little girl with his looks and her brains or a little boy with her looks and his brains left her unable to think about anything else.

She needed to know for sure. She needed a doctor to confirm that she wasn't pregnant.

Mac pulled out her purse and dialed the phone number of the NavCare Clinic appointment line.

"I'd like to make an appointment, please," Mac said nervously into the receiver when the young woman answered the phone.

"Certainly, sponsor's social please."

Mac gave the operator her social security number.

With no one listed as dependents under that number, the operator knew that she would be the patient. "There is a 1630 left today, or the first appointment time that I have available tomorrow is 1100. Would either of those be okay, ma'am?"

Not wanting to lie to Harm and tell him that she had to work late, she decided that it would be easier to get away tomorrow without having to tell anyone.

"Tomorrow, 1100 would be fine, thank you."

"Colonel MacKenzie, for what will we be seeing you tomorrow?"

"I need to verify the results of a home pregnancy test," Mac stated.

**TUESDAY**

NAVCARE CLINIC

1100

Mac sat waiting for her name to be called.

She'd managed to dodge Harm's questions last night, but he'd been concerned about her 'spacing out,' as he'd called it, and she knew that he knew or at least suspected that she was keeping something from him.

She'd so wanted to tell him. Her nerves were frazzled, and she felt like she was going to come apart at the seams. She could've used his support. However, she'd decided for good reasons not to tell him about her pregnancy worries and she was going to stick with that decision.

She'd blame her odd behavior tonight on fatigue, low blood sugar or pre-wedding jitters. Once she knew for certain that she wasn't pregnant, she could get her mind back on planning the wedding.

If she were pregnant - well, she'd just have to think about when would be the best time to tell Harm and how to tell him that he was going to be a father.

"Colonel MacKenzie..."

"Yes." Mac stood, quickly making it to her feet.

"If you'll follow me, ma'am..." the nurse said before turning to lead the officer to a room where she'd have her vital signs recorded.

**MAC'S OFFICE**

**LATER THAT AFTERNOON**

Mac was sitting at her desk, staring off into space and thinking about her appointment earlier that day.

Though she'd been half-expecting to hear the results that the doctor had given her, Mac had found that she'd had to question it.

"Are you sure that there isn't some mistake?" she'd asked the doctor, crossing her fingers behind her back.

"I'm absolutely certain of the result. There's no mistake," the doctor had replied.


	23. Chapter 23

**Part Twenty-Three **

**ONE WEEK LATER**

**SATURDAY**

**EARLY MORNING**

Exhausted from working all day and enjoying the nightly ritual of making love with Harm for the past week, Mac had fallen asleep quickly last night, happy that the weekend was upon them, but soon after slumber had claimed her, she was awake again.

Dreams of her wedding later today and thoughts of when to tell Harm about the baby had crept into her dreams and that's what had awakened her. The latter was also what was keeping her from going back to sleep.

Should she tell Harm, her fiancé, or should she tell Harm, her husband, about the baby?

It was a question that she'd had on her mind since the doctor had confirmed the positive result of the test that she'd taken on her own.

Her first thought after she'd left the clinic had been to run to Harm and tell him, but she hadn't when she'd realized that, for him, it would be news coming out of the blue since the last time that they'd discussed them having a baby together, she'd told him about her procedure and what the doctor had told her about the likelihood of her _never_ having a child.

She'd been wrestling with this since Tuesday, and she was no closer to the answer. One minute she'd think that telling her new husband that he was going to be a father would be the perfect wedding gift. Then, whether it was part of the emotional rollercoaster of being pregnant or a real concern, she'd think that he had a right to know before they got married in case the news changed the fact that he wanted her to be his wife.

Mac sat up, glanced over at Harm and then stared off into the dark room, contemplating her two choices.

First, she rationalized against the negative feelings that she'd had only seconds before she'd looked at him.

'That's crazy. He's told me that he loves me. He asked me to marry him before even I knew that there was a baby. Though this baby is unplanned and thus a surprise, if anything, he'll want to marry me even more now that I'm going to be the mother of his child,' she thought, pushing away the negative thoughts about him backing out of the wedding because of the baby.

Behind Mac's blank stare, she was wrestling with her options of when to tell Harm when she felt his hand on her back.

"We've got a busy day today. We've got a wedding to go to ... and your husband is going to want to keep you up tonight, so you should be sleeping now while you can," he said in a voice husky from sleep.

Not looking at him, she murmured back, "Can't sleep."

His hand rubbed over her back like a parent would to soothe a child, causing her to move to place her head on his chest.

Harm had been worried about Mac since they'd checked into the hotel. At first, he'd thought that her issue had been his mother, more precisely, her ideas on their wedding and her suggestion that they get married on a yacht so that Mac wouldn't have to walk and stand in the sand in her wedding gown.

Last Sunday, when his mother had made another suggestion about a possible location, this time using the gazebo in the Burnetts' backyard, Harm had seen it as an opportunity to make it clear, kindly but firmly, to his mother and to Mac, that though he knew that she was just trying to be helpful and that suggestions were appreciated, if Mac wanted a ceremony on the beach or at some other venue, or if she wanted to wear a gown or jeans to her wedding, then that was what they were doing because he had no preference as to where or what they wore when they got married. He just wanted it to happen and for Mac to be happy.

Though he thought that it would put Mac more at ease by knowing that she had his support in saying no to his mother's suggestions, Mac still seemed to be struggling with something.

Thinking that, with having to work because there was no time to arrange for her to take leave to make the arrangements for the wedding, though she wasn't doing it alone, Mac still seemed to be stressed out. However, as more things were checked off the list as being done, Mac seemed to be getting worse instead of better.

By Wednesday, all of the arrangements had been made, and they just had to kill time until Saturday, but Mac seemed to be increasingly distracted and unable to concentrate on much of anything.

He didn't believe that she was having second thoughts about getting married because he was sure that she loved him. The proof of that was that, even though she woke looking rested, she looked so tired every night that he wanted her to go right to sleep. He felt that sex could wait until their honeymoon, but if he didn't initiate lovemaking, she did.

Deciding that she didn't want to call off the wedding, the conclusion that he'd drawn from her behavior was that it was just pre-wedding jitters and that, once they were married, she'd be just fine.

"Are you sure that you want to get married today?" Mac asked out of the blue, her head still resting on his chest.

"Yes. Aren't you sure that you want to get married?" Harm questioned anxiously as he continued to stroke her back.

"I love you and I want to marry you..." Mac's voice trailed off.

"...but not today?" Harm asked, his anxiety quotient going up several notches. He'd suspected that she was having cold feet, but now he was hoping that it wasn't an extreme case that was going to have her canceling the wedding.

"I want to get married today, but you showing up here, proposing and then planning a wedding so that we can be married before you leave...it's been all so rushed that we haven't had a chance to talk about anything."

"What's to talk about? I love you. You love me. We don't want to be apart anymore. Seems pretty cut and dried to me," Harm stated with certainty.

'Was this conversation going to end with her calling off the wedding?' he wondered.

Mac wanted to word her thoughts carefully because she didn't know if she wanted to tell him about the baby now, but she did want to get some idea of how he'd feel about them having a baby, especially sooner rather than later.

"I know that we've established the basis for the wedding, but what about the foundation for the marriage? We haven't discussed things like if we should pool our money or keep separate accounts, whether you'd like to live close to your mother, should we look for an apartment or a house...when you might be ready to start a family. There are a ton of things that should be decided before two people are married."

Harm couldn't imagine how long it would take to talk about a "ton" of things, but if this was what had been occupying her thoughts for the last week, then he was willing to answer her questions to ease her mind.

His mind having processed her first question, he stated, "Since we each have individual financial obligations, we should keep our finances as they are until we're at least living together. Then we'll have to sit down to discuss how we'll share mutual expenses like food, housing and utilities."

"As far as where we live, I don't have a preference, really. I haven't lived near my mother as an adult..." He paused. "...with the exception of the brief time when what is now a Marine base at Miramar was still the home of the Navy's Top Gun school, so I don't have a preference about how close we live to my mother. From my mother's perspective, the fact that I'm even in San Diego makes me close and will make her happy. I think that whatever's convenient to your office and mine will be a bigger factor in the location of our residence than where my mother lives," Harm said, answering her second question.

"Since you lived in an apartment, too, you know what I mean when I say that, if I wanted to live with roommates, I'd live in the BOQ before taking on roommates to fill the space of a house. I might have been able to get used to living by myself in a big space, but with a house also comes yard work. I didn't want to have to worry about coming back from a temporary assignment or an investigation and need to tackle the jungle that the yard would've become, so I've always stuck with apartments. Now that I'll be sharing a place with you, I think that we should give buying a house some thought, especially since I'm all for trying to start working on that family tonight."

"You wouldn't want to wait...give yourself some more time to grieve for Mattie before we have a baby?" Her voice cracked with emotion. Damn it! This wasn't the time to have a hormone surge and start crying. That would force her to divulge her secret when she wasn't sure that she was ready to do so.

"I can't say that Mattie's death hasn't had an effect on me, because it mostly certainly has. Whether it's a means of coping or a philosophy that I should have learned a long time ago, I've had to look at my life and live it differently. I need to believe that everything, no matter the joy or pain that the event causes, happens when it does for a reason. I don't know why Mattie had to die so young and I may never know, but I can't put my life on hold while I try to figure it out. The answer won't bring her back, and I'll have wasted time that I could've lived the life I wanted. My father has been out of my life for more than thirty-five years, and I still think about him, so I know that I'll never forget Mattie, but I also know that I owe it to her to remember the time that we had together and not the tragedy of losing her. So I don't think that I..._we_ should spend time thinking about when to have a baby. I think that we should just love each other and enjoy the time that we have together, and when the time is right for us to have a baby, it'll happen."

When Mac lifted her head from his chest, she had tears in her eyes as she kissed him gently. Pulling back to look at him, she drew in a deep breath and plunged ahead.

"What if it's already happened?" she asked tentatively.

"Then I'd be the happiest man alive. Why do you ask? Are you trying to tell me something?"

Mac just continued to look at Harm as she slowly nodded her head up and down and her tears started to trail down her cheeks.

"What is it, Mac? Why are you crying?"

"It's these damned hormones. That's what happens when a woman is pregnant," she said with a sniffle.

"You're pregnant? You're really pregnant? How long...how long have you known?"

"I've known since Tuesday. Your mom is the one who brought it up when we were out trying to find a wedding dress. She thought that I was pregnant based on the way that I acted at breakfast and during our time shopping together. I told her that it wasn't possible, but when I checked my calendar to see when my last period had been, I realized that it had been almost two months since I'd had one. So I stopped at a drugstore on my way to work on Monday to buy a pregnancy test kit. It was positive, but I still couldn't believe it, so I made an appointment at the NavCare Clinic on Tuesday so that they could tell me that it was a false positive...that it had been a mistake...but it wasn't. I'm pregnant," she finished with a sob.

"Oh, Mac," Harm said as he wrapped his arms around her and held her to him.

With her in an embrace, Harm asked, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Were you afraid that I'd be unhappy about it?"

"I was afraid that it was too soon after Mattie...that you wouldn't be ready to be a father again so soon."

Harm continued just to hold and soothe her by rubbing her back until she stopped crying.

When her tears had subsided, Harm said, "Now, if you're feeling better, maybe you can go back to sleep. I want you to be well-rested for our big day."

Mac nodded her head and snuggled into him, and they eventually drifted off to sleep, each having thoughts about the baby that they were expecting.


	24. Chapter 24

**Part Twenty-Four **

**LATER THAT SATURDAY MORNING**

It seemed like she'd just fallen asleep when she felt him kiss her on the cheek before he softly spoke.

"I hate to wake you because I know that you really need the sleep."

'This is a nice way to wake up,' Mac thought as she blinked a few times before her eyelids would stay open.

Harm was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over and poised to kiss her cheek once more, but she turned her head just a fraction, and his lips made contact with hers.

After the smooch, he said with a big grin, "Good morning to you, too."

"I know that you didn't get as much sleep as you should've last night, and I'd love to get undressed and join you for a lazy day in bed, but we can't because we're getting married today. However, we can stay in bed all day tomorrow."

Mac swore that, when he said the words 'getting married,' his smile grew even bigger.

'Married, they were getting married today in ...'

"Harm, you shouldn't have let me sleep so long," Mac said in a panic while pulling the covers off of herself, causing Harm to vacate his spot to give her room to get up.

Mac got to her feet while saying, "I've got a hair appointment and, before I leave for it, I have to shower..." Suddenly, she felt dizzy, and her voice trailed off. She stopped in her quest to get to the bathroom and just stood there, trying to regain her equilibrium.

Harm observed her and was at her side in a second, "Mac, what is it?" he questioned in concern.

"Nothing," she commented, not realizing that she was leaning her body against him.

"Something's wrong, Mac. What is it? Is it the baby?"

He managed to control the fear that something was terribly wrong and that he was going to lose her or the baby, but he couldn't keep the worry from coming through.

"I just felt light-headed, but I'm okay now." Still seeing the concern in his eyes, she added, "I'm fine, really." Then she pushed herself up onto the balls of her feet and gave him a quick kiss. "Now I've got to get into the shower. I don't want to be late for my hair appointment."

Mac came out of the bathroom a little while later, wrapped in a robe and ready to get dressed.

She saw Harm sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the bathroom door like he'd been sitting there waiting for her to exit.

As their eyes met, it was her turn to be concerned...about him.

She quickly moved to sit on the bed next to him, but he said nothing, causing her to fear that he was going to cancel their wedding.

She took his hand. "Harm, what's wrong?"

He lifted her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. "I don't know. You'll have to tell me. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me, Harm. Aside from being pregnant, I'm fine," Mac said reassuringly.

"Are you trying to tell me that the dizzy spell that you just had is because you're pregnant?"

"Yes, probably..."

"Mac, I think that you should go see a doctor to make sure that you and the baby are okay."

"Harm, I was a little light-headed. It's nothing to worry about, so I don't need to go to the doctor before my scheduled appointment on Tuesday."

"You have an appointment this coming Tuesday?" Harm inquired.

"Yes. Do you want to come with us since you'll probably miss a couple of them before you get back here?" Mac asked, realizing that she'd just said 'us' in referring to her and the baby.

"Yes, I want to come with you. By the way, when do you think that it happened?" Harm asked, pointing to her stomach.

"Well, we haven't been trying, but we haven't been doing anything to prevent it either," Mac reminded him.

"It would be too soon for you to be having these symptoms if you'd become pregnant in the week that I've been here, wouldn't it?" Harm questioned for conformation.

"Yes, it would be too soon to know _now _if it had happened this week, so it would had to have happened one of the times when we were together in DC," Mac replied.

"Yeah, that would make sense, and..." Harm stopped speaking, and he was just sitting there with a stunned look on his face.

"I'm hoping that it was the last time that we were together before I left to come out here. It would be so romantic to think that our little miracle was conceived after you took me to your beautiful, magical place by the lake," Mac said, concerned about what he was thinking. He was starting to look a little pale.

Harm nodded affirmatively before asking, "Do you know yet when the baby is supposed to be born?"

"Not yet. We can probably come up with a good guess because we know when we were together, but since there's a two week window, we'll have to wait for my appointment to get a more accurate due date," Mac replied.

"Okay. If you're sure that you're okay..." Harm said before giving her a quick kiss. "...you'd better get dressed if you're going to be on time for your hair appointment," he said, getting to his feet.

SATURDAY

AT SUNSET

Tears flowed down Trish's cheeks as she stood next to Frank and watched her son exchange vows with the woman who he undoubtedly loved. She could see it in his eyes.

Since Mac had changed the location of their wedding from the beach to the bluff here at Sunset Cliffs, Trish hadn't been sure of this location, but here now, the breathtaking view of the setting sun on the horizon served as the perfect backdrop for the ceremony.

The only thing that could rival the spectacular view was her son and his bride.

Harm was in a suit, and Mac was in the Grecian goddess-style dress that she'd chosen as her wedding dress. Mac's hair was pulled up except for thin strands of hair that hung along the sides and framed her face. They were a picture-perfect couple.

Trish admired the smile on her son's face as he slipped the ring on his bride's finger.

The last time that she'd seen him wear that particular kind of smile was when he'd been a little boy, before his father had been reported missing in action.

Trish sniffled. It had been so long ago, and though she knew that her son had had good times in the years between then and now, she'd never seen this particular smile, the one that reached his eyes, and she knew with certainty that he was truly happy.

When the words, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," were uttered, Trish witnessed her son put his hands on Mac's hips and his lips on hers.

Her little boy was married. 'He finally found the happiness that he deserves,' Trish thought as she waited for the couple to break their kiss.

**AFTER THE CEREMONY**

Harm stooped down to scoop up Mac outside the door of their hotel room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Carrying you over the threshold, Mrs. Rabb..." he replied before giving her an odd look. "...unless you think that it'll hurt the baby," he added.

"It won't hurt the baby," Mac chuckled, both at the idea that he thought that it might and, because the only thing other than what she assumed were the usual questions that he'd asked about the baby, he hadn't said anything more except that he thought that they should wait until after her appointment to tell anyone else the news.

It was that comment that let her know why he hadn't shown more emotion upon hearing the news. He was keeping his distance in case something was wrong with the baby. She could understand that. He'd lost Mattie, and the pain of losing a child was still fresh in his mind, so he didn't want to start falling for this baby until the doctor told them that everything was okay.

However, the loving tone that he'd used to ask if he'd hurt the baby by picking her up had told her that the baby was going to win him over before Tuesday, she thought to herself as her feet left the floor.

Harm carried her inside their room and placed her down ever so gently on the bed.

Finally, Harm's world felt right. He had Mac, and she was having his baby - she was having his baby!

He brought his lips to hers, and Mac tasted the saltiness of tears, but they weren't hers.

"Harm..." She knew that he'd understand her unspoken question by the way that she'd said his name.

"I'm okay. I think that it all just hit me."

"You mean that you're married and going to be a father?" Harm nodded affirmatively. "You're happy about it though, right?"

"Very, very happy," Harm assured her. "Thank you, Mac, for making every dream that I've ever dreamed come true today," he added before his lips claimed hers again.

As they made love, they came together not only as husband and wife, but as two people who had proof that becoming lovers, their ensuing marriage and the fact that they were expecting a baby meant that their coming together when they did had been no mistake.

THE END


	25. Chapter 25

Hello Readers,

Thank you to all who have either left feedback here or sent me a private message about continuing this story.

The results have been tallied, and you'll notice that the story has been marked as complete. However, for those of you who wanted the story to continue, don't panic.

Through your feedback, I've decided that the story that relates to the title, "No Mistake" has been told. However, since there is more that could be told there may be a sequel.

I'm still deciding if I can address the concerns of some and make a continuation different enough from the series being posted at this time.

Long story short, if I think I can write a story that will be 'different' without breaking up Harm and Mac or something drastic like that, I'll write a sequel.

Waiting on my muse to come back from vacation, the way the rest of me had to do,

fananicfan


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